*At the time of purchase I was unaware that this coat was real fur. Had I had known, I would not have purchased it.
*EDIT: I recently received extremely offensive comments due to the coat in this post on my facebook. FYI THIS COAT ISN’T EVEN MADE OF FUR. I choose to live my life with compassion for all animals and living creatures – which includes humans. I will never understand those who claim to fight for animal rights but have such tunnel vision that they think it is okay to curse at those and call them offensive sexist names in their backwards version of social justice.
Compassion is about all of the world’s creatures, which includes how we treat each other. Even if this coat was fur – it could have been handed down by a grandmother or bought second hand. And even if it wasn’t, shock tactics an name calling isn’t the way to try to spread a message that should be rooted in compassion.
But this is even more offensive and hurtful as I strive each and every day to live as compassionately as possible. If these people took one moment and actually read the blog post or looked at my blog they would know that, but instead they choose to jump to quick conclusions because they are clearly full of hate.
When I try to educate people about animal rights I do not call them sexist names or try to intimidate them. Let’s teach people to love animals from a place of compassion.
I have been single for the better half of a year, and let me tell you, I am still loving it. Now, after my first big european love and subsequent heartbreak in 2011, I cried for the better half of a year, picked myself up, and went to sow my seeds. And sow my seeds I did. (Wait, does this metaphor actually work for females?) But after my last break up, I have been much more focused on becoming the best goddamned version of myself and doing things that make me happy and further my career.
Maybe I am just getting old, or maybe I am just finally coming into my own and really loving my independence and building up a strong enough character, but men are the farthest thing from my mind right now. Not that sleeping around has anything to do with character or lack thereof – let me be clear on that. I just mean that I generally have no major need for men these days both romantically and physically.
With the advent of Tinder, you would think that a one-stop all-you-can-eat buffet of hunky goodness (Don’t know about you, but the selection in Berlin is pretty top. I mean seriously, how can a city be full of such amazingly attractive men?) would be a single girl’s dream. And while I am guilty of having the app, I have actually used it more as a way to make friends than a place to find booty calls. (Although the occasional booty call has been known to happen. Hey, I am human and I have my needs too!)
That is not to say that I haven’t met some interesting guys as of late, because I have! But that’s the best part about being single. It allows you to meet so many interesting individuals without any pressure of having to settle down the next day, and start making wedding plans or talking about a baby making three. It also allows you to still put yourself first at the end of the day.
Now, I am kind of notorious for putting everybody and their mother before myself, especially when it comes to dating. So having the time right now to focus on myself for once has been pretty liberating and all kinds of amazing. I don’t feel any ticking clocks and I am just living for me and my dreams at the moment, trying to carve out a career for myself, re-establish a work out routine, and spend my free time either in my own awesome company or in the company of the pretty awesome people I have the luxury of calling my friends.
Do I hope that by this time next year I am spending my weekends cuddling on the sofa with more than just my two cats? Sure. But I’m not crunching at the bit. Because as beautiful as love is, as wonderful as it is to be in a relationship, the more time you spend with other people, the less time you have for yourself. And god knows, I hardly have any time for all the things I want to do as it is.
So to my future boyfriend: Hey there, I can’t wait to stay up binge watching netflix with you and being the little spoon, stumble out of our local haunts drunk off our arses at 6 in the morning, cook dinner together, have sexy time on every surface of your and my flat (Jk! But seriously…), laze around on weekends in the park, visit local museums while holding hands, and all that other sickeningly sweet shit couples do that I love. But take your time, cos I’m in no rush. Love, Rae.
To all my single ladies out there, what is your take on singlehood? And for those who are taken, how do you make sure to keep a healthy balance between couple-time and me-time? Let me know in the comments below.