You know that phrase, ‘Don’t grow up, it’s a trap’? While almost as cliche-ridden as your garden variety Hot Topic T-shirt with the words ‘You laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at you because you are all the same,’ plastered across the front in some angry font worn by an equally angry teenager, I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment (the former, not the latter of course). Because at 29, I’ve found a new hobby generally relegated to the likes of 16 year old testosterone-fueled adolescent boys who shower once a week and I’m not even the least bit sorry.

Rae Tashman - - Berlin Fashion Week

But let’s rewind first. When I was in middle school (picture me wagging my finger like an old man recounting tales from his youth), we didn’t have the fashion sense to dress in a way we wouldn’t later be embarrassed of. Luckily, although we had myspace, and the internet has been known to never forget, this was before facebook, the smart phone, and in-between the switch from film photography to digital, so most of the embarrassing evidence is missing from digital public record and buried in a shoebox somehwere. So you will just have to take my word for it when I say that I was an avid shopper at Pac Sun and an enthusiast for extremely unpractically wide leg pants, Vans skater shoes, and Independent T-Shirts. And as such, became attracted to the idea of skateboarding. And so I did what any suburban kid with a dream would do: Avidly watched the X games, played a lot of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, bought a skateboard, and then completely abandoned the idea of actually skating when I realized I was too chicken shit to attempt anything.

Still, the dream of being on four wheels never truly left my consciousness (or subconscious for that matter), because at the beginning of last summer when the guy I was in a relationship with decided to buy a longboard, I decided to get a skateboard and fulfil my adolescent dream of shredding.

The problem with last summer was that I was woefully unaware of the plethora of skate parks in Berlin, and the locations I was aware of intimidated me to no end because they were full of extremely talented skaters, all of which who were male. I have never been one to shy away from something based on my gender, but for any female who has ever wanted to skate, I am sure they can relate to the fear of not being taken seriously, getting laughed off the mini ramp by a bunch of bros, or simply being in the way and/or eating shit in front of a bunch of strangers.

In addition to this, I had been under the impression before buying my board that skating was something better left in the past – that certain hobbies an activities had some kind of expiration date, and like spoilt milk, which was better left untouched once this date had been reached. I thought I had to be a “real grown up,” and do “real grown up things.” Spoiler alert: There is no such thing as a real grown up. Or rather, there is such a thing as a grown up, but it’s not about having your shit together. It’s about making a series of bad decisions to which you can only hold yourself accountable for while trying to mask these failed attempts at “adulting” to the outside world – most notably from your extended family at the family reunion while you get drunk off of sangria and sneak a cigarette break behind the shed worrying about your man-problems (or women problems!) as everyone talks about how accomplished your married cousin with the husband and two kids is.* (This is a purely 100% imagined scenario, but I think you’re picking up what I’m putting down.)

Still, when I realized that my 14 years older than me boyfriend-at-the-time had no qualms about picking up longboarding, I realized that so much of why life becomes stale, full of routine (where the highlight of one’s week is purchasing new laundry detergent), and practically unliveable, is because we allow ourselves to be bought into some notion of what maturity or “growing up” is all about. Now I might not be an investment banker, nor anywhere near to getting proposed to nor having kids (I have two cats, though, which is basically the same thing as having two 3 year olds who just never grow up). I may still be struggling to turn my chosen career path into something profitable, still choose my bedtimes poorly, and get overwhelmed at the thought of cleaning my flat, or taking on major forms of responsibility, but I’m the happiest I have ever been in my life at this moment and it’s all down to the fact that I am living life the way I personally want to live it and not giving into any specific societal demands. It also helps that I live in Berlin, the heart of Never-never-land where you never actually have to commit to anything, let alone “growing up,” which has it’s pros and cons – but that is a conversation for another time.

Fast forward to this summer, where my skateboarding story truly begins. Lat month, I met a guy off of tinder who skateboards and being the friendly (albeit naive) American that I was and am, figured it was my chance to make a new platonic friend and fulfil my dream of going to the skatepark. In the end, I don’t think this guy was looking for a female pal, but it did break the glass ceiling and finally got me on my board. Since then, I have been living out my childhood fantasy of becoming a skateboarder. And I have to say that overall the skateboarding community in Berlin has been more than welcoming, so all those fears I had last year are now relatively moot. I’m still pretty tentative when it comes to attempting things I could potentially hurt myself doing, but each day I get a little more brave and force myself to try something that I’m scared of. Now I’m not saying that I’m going to be shredding like Leticia Bufoni any time soon, if ever, but I’m just happy to be doing something I realized I have a strange amount of passion for, and no one is going to stand in the way of me and my board.

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Stay conscious, Rae


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Rae Tilly

Rae the EIC of LFB and YEOJA Magazine. She is also a photographer and social media influencer.


  • I think I’ve said it before, but so cool that you’ve started skateboarding. You should show us your board! I can see how it would be intimidating to start skating at skate parks, where everyone is almost a pro. + You’re definitely right that you shouldn’t let age or expectation get in the way of doing something you want to do.

    (P.S. Expect an email from me by the end of this week, sorry it’s taking so long!)

    Jane / deluminators

    • rae

      Thanks so much, it’s such a random hobby to be starting now, but I really enjoy it and yes, I will definitely have to post a picture of my board here on LFB soon! And yes, age or expectation is all in the eye of the beholder at the end of the day, isn’t it?! And sounds great, just emailed you back today!

  • I love this post, because it’s so true. I’m 27 now and while life was exciting and moving forward a few years ago, as you say, it becomes stale.. probably had the same thing with playing the guitar as you did with skateboarding – I never got too it and now it’s “too late” (wtf?). what won me over though was this quote: “Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway.” so now I’m starting with playing the ukulele :) have a wonderful day.

    • rae

      So glad that this post resonated with you, Lisi! I think the most important thing is to realize that “too late” does not exist and yes that is a fabulous quote! I think it’s awesome that you have decided to pick up the ukulele as well!

  • I think being the eldest of four, the second barely a year apart, made me grow up fast. I always had to be the bigger person and set an example before I even had role models of my own. And though it did help me develop some skills, I realised how much I wasn’t a child, or losing my teenage hood. Because I was always planning for something. It took a while for me to stay in the moment, to embrace my youth as much as I can before I leave. Whether young love with my boyfriend, or fleeting friendships with comrades who will leave soon. We’re never too old to do, and we’re never too old to relive. <3

    xx BASH |   go say   H E Y   B A S H

    • rae

      I think that having to grow up fast in many ways has many benefits but you are absolutely right, you should also take the time to slow down and appreciate what it means to be a teenager and soak up all the experiences you are having at this very moment in time and not rush things.

  • I love the way you write, and definitely agree with all the sentiment in this post. For a while I was trying to grow up way too fast, I’d refuse to act like the fool I am in public and was a different person outside the house, but I’ve started to embrace the child in me and am so much happier <3

    The Quirky Queer

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Izzy, it means a lot to me that you enjoy my writing style and I am really happy that you liked this post as well. Love the fact that you are embracing the child in you! That is what will keep you young!

  • Rae, SO dope of you to go for it and start skating.
    Isn’t it sometimes weird what hobbies we develop interest in? I’ve never boxed a day in my life, but for some strange reason I’ve wanted to pick up boxing lately, it’s odd. Aside from all the tricks, was skating easy to get the hang of?


    • rae

      Thanks so much, yeah it is a lot of fun and you should totally pick up boxing! It is okay, but I am such a beginner that I really can’t to any major tricks yet!

  • I LOVE how inspiring all your posts are. Like this is such an important message, it doesn’t matter how old we are, we should always try to do things that makes us happy and we want to do!
    ps: I love your shirt!

    • rae

      I am so happy that you find LFB’s posts to be inspiring, Paula! And yes, it really is an important message that is so easy to forget while we are on the rush to becoming more mature and grown up.

  • Totally agree, you’re never too old to have fun. I don’t get why so many people think different activities are only for teenagers.

    xo, mikéla /

    • rae

      Agreed! As long as you enjoy what you are doing, I say go for it at any age!

  • I can totally relate to the feeling that certain experiences have expiration dates. I’ve caught myself many times wishing “oh I wish I tried this when I was younger” or “oh I wish I stuck to that when I was younger,” even though I remember thinking my parents were so annoying for making me try so many random things when I was little :P I’ve been wanting to learn how to surf and penny board. My friend randomly bought a skateboard a few weeks ago from a random athletic store she passed by even though she doesn’t know how to skate, but she’s been practicing up and down the dorm hall! Maybe I should just go ahead and buy a penny board next time I pass by an athletic store. (after comparing prices on Amazon etc etc ofc) -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

    • rae

      You should totally start penny boarding down your hallway! I totally support that!

  • You know this totally reminds me of a Buzzfeed Ladylike video where they all try skateboarding for 30 days! They shared a lot of the same fears that you mentioned, such as wiping out in front of strangers, and it being mostly guys/very good skaters. I think your view on not confining certain things to an age group is great – can we apply that to trick or treating now? (:

    Angelina Is | Bloglovin’

    • rae

      Ah yeah, it’s so funny after I started skating I came across that video and watched it and really related to those girls!

  • Can I just say I am in LOVE with your blog?! It is gorgeous and I love what you talk about. I think the platitude is true that “age is just a number”. It’s funny, sometimes I feel myself get younger as I get older?! I love that you got on the board & that you realized that there truly is no “enjoy by” date. You are as young as you want to be! x Shannon

    • rae

      Hey Shannon! So glad that you love LFB! And I can totally relate to feeling younger as you get older, because that has been what my whole summer this year has been about!

  • As I get older I definitely sense myself being more and more closed off to new experiences or even things I enjoyed when I was younger, and I’m actively trying to fight it! Loved reading this post, and I’d love to see you skateboarding! ;)

    xo, alice / T Y P E N U

    • rae

      Love the fact that you are trying to fight it and yes, I must post some things about skateboarding on here soon!

  • Hahaha, yes guurrrrllll.
    Also, such a shame he is not your boyfriend (soon please?!) because you’d look painfully wonderful together and also, it’d warm the cockles of my cold dead heart

    Erin | words and pictures

    • rae

      Which guy are you talking about? The tinder one? I literally only hung out with him two times – once in an evening and once the day I decided to skateboard.

      • Probably not him then. I’ll have to do a creepy stalk and get back to you, and now I sound even weirder. Ohhhh ballllls

  • Amazing! I never tried skateboarding for exactly those reasons at the time. Now, I’m not keen on being on wheels at all – whether that’s a skateboard, rollerskates, bike, car, whatever. I like the thought that it’s never too late though. Needs to be kept in mind!

    • rae

      If you are keen you should totally go for it girl!

      • I don’t think I will but I might go for boxing!

  • So amazing that you finally picked it up ;-) it’s definitely not too late for anything, I think! I’d probably be scared of skateboarding though, and my dreams of being a sk8er gurl (thx Avril <3) were never really in my priorities hahaha. I'm trying to pick up a new language (how sub-par to skateboarding/sports related activities though) so we shall see if I'm gonna haul my ass to do just that!

    Cherie | sinonym