Anatomy of this Outfit: Bomber Jacket – H&M | Top – JIAB | Jeans – UO | Hat – UO

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I recently had an interesting talk with a good friend of mine. He asked me if I thought LFB was an accurate representation of who I am. I had a bit of a think and told him that while I do not air out everything that happens in my life on LFB, what is here to see is definitely an accurate portrayal of me. Meaning that I do not share everything about myself but what I do share is honest. After all, my mindset going into starting LFB was always to be genuine.

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He was the first of my friends to say otherwise and tell me that he didn’t think my online persona accurately represented me. Which got me thinking about the nature of blogs and why they – and the rest of social media – can be so damned confusing and frustrating for so many people when it comes to the question of authenticity and how individuals represent themselves.

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Whereas blogging was once literally an online version of a personal diary only read by a select few, today’s social media channels are broadcasted to anyone with an internet connection. And with that, blogging, instagramming, and snapchatting – while still personal – have also become professional. These channels are run by individuals showing pieces of their actual lives but when combined with a career, although these social media influencers and bloggers are sharing their daily lives with their readers and viewers, they are also doing so in a professional capacity, working with clients and sponsors. This is so different to traditional advertising or traditional careers where the line between work v personal are clearly defined.

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But the difficulty with blogging and social media is that you are generally expected to appear genuine – 100% authentic – and share every aspect of your life with your followers while still keeping a professional attitude and producing non-offensive content.

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And it gets even more complicated because you are forced to choose a hat for a setting that combines multiple environments where different hats due to different terrain would be used – work and personal – as well as multiple players – strangers, friends, significant others, not to mention family. (Pretty sure Aunt Suzy wants to read about your sex life just as much as you want her to read about it – meaning not at all, jus sayin’)

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Because here is the thing: when I worked in an office job, I acted differently than I did amongst friends. I omitted certain details that would hurt my professional career. I kept my love life private – that is until things got to rough I burst out in tears at work. (Hey, I never said I was perfect!) Certain behaviour and information is not work appropriate and could get you fired. You wear your work hat at work and your private life hat in your free time.

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When blogging is your career, the lines get a hell of a lot more blurry and it seems that ok every front social media influencers get heat for not expressing their political views, expressing them too often, not being “real” enough, or creating staged content.

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Let me say this: each of us who is working in the social media field must decide for themselves what they are comfortable sharing. While I value honesty, I am the first to say that you are not fake or lying or disingenuous because you choose not to talk about being embarrassingly drunk last Friday because your boyfriend broke up with you. Sure, if you feel like writing about it go for it! But if you wouldn’t share this information in a professional office work setting, you should not feel compelled to do so in your blog. In fact, doing so in the traditional work field might very well get you fired.

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We often talk about what it means to be real – that being genuine is the most important aspect of blogging – that is defines our level of integrity. And I do think there is a lot to be said for that. I want to read about a blogger’s honest opinions about a product, not a positive review that has been bribed out of someone.

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But the level of honesty and openness a blogger or social media influencer is meant to have needs to be re-evaluated when one considers the professional aspect. (The same goes for understanding staged content. Now I’m not saying you should only take photos of you looking really happy and having the best day ever, but yes outfit photos are planned and yes it sometimes takes 20 photos before you get the right shot of your meal. That’s okay! I’m used to eating cold meals by now, lol.)

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Don’t get me wrong – bloggers, youtubers, and social media influencers who try to portray perfect lives are doing a disservice to their viewers and this is potentially even more damaging than traditional adverts because viewers may thing it is attainable when a selection of carefully curated Instagram photos do not tell the whole story. But as long as you are not living a total lie, this story is still part of a truth and that is okay. We just all need to understand the circumstances in which content is created.

Want more fashion and words?

Photography: Leni

Thank you to my November sponsor, Dee Shoots!

Stay conscious, Rae

Rae Tilly

Rae the EIC of LFB and YEOJA Magazine. She is also a photographer and social media influencer.


  • I believe that no one has perfect lives! including me !! You just don’t want to share so many personal things on the internet because so many others judge us.

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

    • rae

      This is so true.

  • I believe that bloggers can decide what they want to share or not. Some don’t want to tell about their personal life, others are all about that, everything is fine!
    About the “perfection” part, I think it’s quite normal for people to share what’s positive in their life. I read blogs to escape from the world and I don’t want to know all of the bad things that happened to this person everyday.
    Have a nice day!
    Laura |

    • rae

      Agreed entirely. And yes, I think that sharing positive things is perfectly okay. I think if one tries to create the illusion of a perfect life all the time, then it is a problem, but no one is obligated to share private negative emotions or fears if they do not want to.

  • the thing with publishing things, anything at all, online for the world too see is just risky. and sometimes, it’s a contradiction because people expect you to be honest, to be 100% genuine but when you are a professional blogger and you write something honestly, there will still people who bash and say you’re fake or doing it for money and sponsors. i mean, yeah sure not everyone is a saint; bloggers need to make money and they want sponsors so maybe SOME of them do sugarcoat things too much but the whole blogging community is starting to become insane and probably less fun if one is a famous blogger (or *cough* youtuber). what i’ve found is that no matter if you are a famous blogger or not, whatever you publish online can be used against you. for instance, i can’t really be myself 100% because my blog will probably be filled with so much sass and sarcasm and not everyone gets them. some people can get seriously butthurt and think i’m bitchy just because they fail to understand the sass as a joke – does that make sense? lol i hope i’m making sense. still, that doesn’t mean i don’t write truth. i think it’s up to the blogger to share whatever they want; if they wanna look like they’re sweet little angels even though they’re like that in real life then, it’s up to them. i think we don’t get to judge the people behind the blog because we don’t know them personally. i’m not saying that i don’t trust you or your blog, rae because i do. i trust your content and your words. i’m just saying that as an example; everyone can be fake or real on the internet because in the end, famous youtubers and/or bloggers are like internet entertainers so we’ll never know. it’s kind of a grey area imo.

    in a working environment, there are more masked individuals than genuine, real ones. i agree with what you said regarding wearing the working hat and private life hat differently because that’s just how it is. society expects m, an introvert, to be a talkative big talker kind of extrovert – i can’t do that because one, i’m not a big talker who enjoys making a fool out of myself and revealing everything about me to acquaintances and strangers and two, i prefer to listen and observe more than talking. apparently, people don’t give a damn if i’m fake because they think introverts are antisocial gloomy beings who don’t know how to have fun. it’s really tiring, and i hate how society insists us to wear masks sometimes. maybe that’s why i prefer writing, reading and getting to know people from their blogs. like i said, even though it really is a grey area, i appreciate bloggers who value and write things down honestly, talk about their hardships from time to time and whatnot. being honest and genuine do not necessarily mean you have to write and publish every single shitty thing that is happening to you. bloggers are free people and trustworthy bloggers are greatly appreciated is what i’m saying. like famous youtubers whose subscribers should be treated as more than just followers, i appreciate bloggers who treat their readers and subscribers as, well, people….if you know what i mean.

    oops, i’m rambling on and on lol. i hope you don’t mind my super long ass comment :P
    there are quite a few things i wanna say regarding this topic but i hope this delivers my aim well.


    • rae

      I think you bring up all really interesting and relevant points. At the end of the day it is so hard to truly know who someone is even when you know them personally, that it is very easy for things to get misinterpreted or judged online.

  • I totally get what you mean. Even if my blog isn’t part of work for me, I’m not going to put all my personal stuff on the internet. Just like you say, you act differently depending on the context all the time! As long as you’re not straight up lying, I don’t expect bloggers to be 100% their real life persona.

    Jane / deluminators

  • Such an interesting post! I’ve always found it therapeutic writing about my struggles and exciting times as well, but there are times that i’m second guessing how much can i share. Definitely good keeping something to yourself :)

  • Elizabeth Hisle

    This was the best thing I clicked on today because I was JUST talking about this very thing last night. I do believe there is such a thing as oversharing, and my general attitude is that if I would not want my grandmother to know about it, perhaps it shouldn’t be online. OBVIOUSLY, to each their own, but seeing people admit to doing socially unacceptable things or otherwise have “dirty laundry” moments always strikes me as…. well, odd, to be honest.

    I mean, I do get it. We all have shitty moments. I do too. But unless you are writing about how to cope with something (aka, here is what went wrong and how you can prevent it too) or otherwise take a positive, professional spin on the subject, I really think it is not best to share everything. I always look at it from this perspective: If any potential future employers Google me, will this post make them not want to hire me?

    Either way, it’s ultimately up to the writer! Maybe posting something is cathartic to them, and it outweighs any negative responses. You do you. I just think it’s super important to be aware of any possible consequences.

  • I used to write everything down on my previous blogs but it was a different time and it was still ok to say anything you want.

    Now, I feel more guarded with my private life. I definitely don’t want to share everything online. I keep a private insta for friends and family only.

    I changed the focus on my blog to strictly travel related so I don’t have to post too many private information. It’s much better for me to just have one subject.


  • Absolutely love this, there certainly is a line. I like to think as my blog as a reflection of me, but no way does my life get posted for the world to see – especially because I work in digital media

    Hannah | Oh January

  • It’s interesting how readers/viewers sometimes start feeling very entitled to know every detail about you because they feel like they know you. But you’re right, we’re under no obligation to do so! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

  • First of all, i absolutely want more fashion and words– its been something that I’ve started playing around with myself and I love the format–especially when I read it on other blogs. Now on to the topic at hand. Honestly– I 100% agree. Why should we as bloggers feel the compulsion or the pressure to sacrifice so much of our personal lives for the satisfaction and devourment of The Public? I understand that there is a need to be genuine when dealing with words– because words are generally something usually coming from the heart, and thus is expected to be honest. But you raise a very good point when you mention how in a “normal” work environment, our personal life is separate. we dress different, we conduct ourselves differently, and even address our coworkers differently. so why should it be any different when dealing with an online career?
    honestly, I think because of the social media boom that we are experiencing within our millennium, people have gotten used to total exposure– in every aspect of life. and we have forgotten the meaning of privacy. because somethings, simply for our own humanity and pride– should remain private. Everyone deserves to have secrets.

  • I never really thought about this! Very good points. I mean, even my family sees a different version of me than my friends or coworkers. I think different people pull out different parts of us, depending how much we choose to share or which parts of ourselves. We’re all very multidimensional people I guess!! Xx

  • Great post! You are totally right, I never seen it written so clearly, it’s not just a private thing, but a professional thing as well. Like the office comparison you use. For me a one of the main driving forces is that there is this voice inside of me which just wants to get out and ok “finja” might be the body delivering the message but the message belongs into the world and I am well allowed to have my private life. hope you get what i mean.
    also, i like the page setup, def. keeps the reader reading along..:)
    xxx finja /

  • This is something I’ve been considering a lot lately as I move towards pursuing a career in digital content. At my current job I maintain the social media accounts/website/newsletter/basically anything digital for an agency, and it’s brought a lot of questions to my own mind about how I manage my personal accounts in these areas. I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter what you share, as long as it’s true. By nature of how I write and even how I privately journal, I naturally leave most of the negative details and much of my private life out of my writing process and focus on the facts. It could be seen as being untruthful or withholding information, but at the same time, it’s best to err on the side of caution than it is to overshare.

    Kate |

  • Zaire Q

    This is a really great post Rae. It kind of comes back to that big talk about bloggers and relatability from a few months and ago and I pretty much think that every person should do what makes them feel comfortable. Some people love talking about everything that happens in their life with their followers, others don’t and as readers we shouldn’t expect every blogger to be the same. I think that we should take whatever the blogger gives us and understand that this is their comfort level and we should respect that. I find that if you choose to not share all of your life and all of your information with your readers then that isn’t dishonesty it’s just again, your comfort level. Intentionally trying to mislead your readers and keeping some personal things private are two separate things.

    Also so many people’s social media/blogs are also brands with their own image that may not be directly in-sync with the blogger behind it. And tbh that’s fine with me, I don’t expect people to be the 100% carbon copy of their blog or social media accounts. I guess I just understand that you can be different people or present yourself in different ways and that this action isn’t dishonesty but rather a small part of what makes up you as a person and your personality.

  • I’m realllly interested now to maybe see what people think of me based on my blog, not so interested that I’m about to ask though. I am very aware of who reads my blog though, including family which does reduce what I could talk about. This though, I think is good because it does encourage a more professional approach. Yet, also, I think it’s in how you’re sharing content that dictates how it comes across, and I can’t think of any good example but I think you’ll know what I mean.
    Sometimes I feel awful when I even have a slightly negative view of something and mention it on the blog, but I think that’s important because it shows an honesty and I’m only one person with one pov. I read an article somewhere about how we tend to surround ourselves with those with similar views and I think that is very true, and at times, counter-productive as it restricts our learning, but again it is important to remember that as much as you might love someone’s blog, you might not like the person, (I think I’d love you though, lady :))
    erin | art, photography, words

  • I totally agree that bloggers/influencers etc shouldn’t have to share every single aspect of their lives. Traditional celebrities often try and keep their personal relationships/private life as quiet as possible and even though blogging and social media is based around real life, if it is your job then why would you share things that aren’t appropriate to be shared in a traditional workplace setting? Especially when they’re things that could be damaging to your career, or even if you just don’t feel like it because you’re a private kind of person.

    Even if you’re not a professional blogger, the average person can lose their jobs for posting super inappropriate things on their Facebook or Twitter, so in an age like this people who use social media as part of their jobs should definitely be allowed to filter out the stuff they don’t want everyone to know about.

  • Sophie Lee

    Totally agree with you, everyone has their secrets <3

    xoxo, Cool men style