Today I returned to Berlin. But just a few hours ago, I was in the woods at the Baltic Sea in the eastern part of Germany packing up our tent and loading everything into our rental car…
We do not have the ability to compare our situation to anything else if there is nothing to compare it against. I have taken other holidays before, but they were full of stimuli and obligations the entire time – either trips back home to visit family and friends, or trips to other cities. I love this goddamned city, but escaping to the woods this week has given me different perspective.
I feel my mind growing more stressful as it is slowly being bombarded by multiple sounds and sights that fight for my attention: the rattling traffic below, how harsh the wind sounds six stories above ground, music playing from a playlist on spotify, the requests of my two hungry cats, the post slip calling me to pick up a package, the unedited photos reminding me they need to be edited, thursday reminding me that my summer holiday is coming to a close very soon, and my own mind filling up with tasks that still need to be completed or coming up with new ones to add to an already overflowing list. Now that Nick and I are back in Berlin, I already feel myself trying to invent ways to simulate that same sort of calm I had just hours ago. But all of these stimulants and obligations are hitting me smack dab in the face all at once.
And I am reaching for that feeling I had just moments ago, where everything could be given full attention, devoid of all the extra distraction. Because the most that was simultaneously happening out in the forest on the coast of north east Germany was feeling the breeze pass by my cheek or feeling the sun’s warmth on my face while listening to Vancouver Sleep Clinic and reflecting about my thoughts with pen and paper. The day’s biggest tasks were filling our bellies with food, enjoying the sunshine, and relaxing.
I am fighting really hard to be able to put into words just exactly what I mean, and I am kinda pretty certain I am failing at it miserably right now. But just the mere act of turning on my computer and sitting down to write this post was a bit of a sensory overload and multitasking nightmare, to be honest. I guess the best way that I can explain it is that normal life is like listening to 5 different songs playing at once while searching through your playlist for another 5 to play after the first 5 end, and being out in nature, sleeping in the woods a night, eating sandwiches on the beach in the afternoon, watching the sun go down over the water in the evening, napping in the tent during the late afternoon is like listening to singular songs and not really planning which song is supposed to play next.
I am also understanding how much of our lives are dictated by what is to come instead of relishing the actual moment something is occurring. At the Baltic Sea I was just able to enjoy the moments as they came. I was mainly able to do this because for this vacation I told myself to not worry about all the things waiting on me in Berlin which was much more easily accomplished seeing as I left my computer and the internet at home.
What I realized in these past days were that these two things really go hand in hand. The myriad of obligations and everyday tasks give our modern-world lives a purpose. But they also create stress and when there is a break in between obligations and assignments we feel empty because we are so used to tying the worth of our lives with the purpose we have given ourselves – namely to carry out said obligations and assignments.
What I do know is that when you strip away all of this extra noise and are able to decompress and really focus on what is around you life doesn’t feel so empty anymore because those illusions of purpose sort of fade away and you are just left with sun and sky and air and life. I am well aware that no one can live in a world without obligations or responsibilities, and not all obligations and responsibilities are illusions either. I enjoy my job, I need my friends, I enjoy being busy. But I can see the negative affects of this lifestyle when compared to the opposite – a sparse and unassuming one. And to think, it just took packing up and going camping to sort of realize all of this.
Still, I would venture a guess that living every day away from the city with just a lover by your side and your friendly tent-neighbors would also have it’s downsides. But I think the key here for me is not to become a survivalist and abscond to the woods never to be seen again, but to take away certain realisations and incorporate them into a normal every day life in order to give living a more well-rounded meaning. That, and to also plan enough camping trips into the year where I can simply unplug and sink into nature. I am already thinking about my next camping trip as we speak.
And so what are the lessons and habits I have learned on this holiday?
One: Do things singularly and deliberately (Or just less things more slowly.). I was always one for multi-tasking, but I now see how counter-productive this mindset really is. It causes thoughts to be fragmented, lessons concentration, and makes it damned-near impossible to enjoy any singular moment which is extremely stressful on the body and mind.
Two: Unplug. Step away from the computer and the internet all together. The web can be a wonderful place and blogging is a bit part of my life, but we do not need to be plugged in 24-7 waiting and anticipating the next post, update, comment, email, etc. Being away from the internets is healthy and necessary in order to enjoy the here and the now.
Three: Set aside time for obligations and everyday tasks, and time for the soul. One of the biggest reasons I was able to de-stress and focus on the here and now was that I didn’t feel the constant weight and pressure of all the work looming before me. Not to beat a dead horse, but as I said, this was easily accomplished because I no internet and left my laptop in Berlin. But it has to do with a mindset as well. Combined with number two, this can be incorporated into city life as well. This is key to remove all that extra weight and bombarding thoughts. There is a time and place for everything. And when it is not the time and place for something, it just isn’t.
Now I know you all are probably thinking: Seriously, Rae? You were in the woods for all of 4 days. Well I am not sitting here and claiming to be the second Siddhartha or any shit like that. I’m just saying we could all benefit from living a bit slower and more simply. Which definitely goes for material items as well. Time for another round of spring cleaning, end-of-summer style? I’m thinking yes.
Photography: Dean
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