Anatomy of this Outfit: Vegan “leather” jacket – Nasty Gal | White blouse – Free People | Lace cream blazer – Forever21 | Shorts – Free People | Tights – H&M | Boots – Thrifted


photography by Rae Tashman - www.lovefromberlin.net

The social media world (and the world in general, for that matter) has been abuzz ever since Australian teenager Essena O’Neill, a very popular instagrammer and youtuber, boldly announced that she would be quitting social media. (How successful she will be at letting go of the internetz has yet to fully be seen, however). From what I have read and heard, opinions on the matter have been pretty split. Some people are applauding this young girl for having the courage to speak up about the apparent truth behind social media – that it is a business first and foremost, and a nasty one at that. She is also being applauded for speaking up about the fact that social media sites like instagram create a false sense of spontaneity and reality, portraying lives that are perfectly curated but in truth, unrealistic. And she is right: this instafamous culture combined with product placement creates a modern form of marketing that can be even more subversive than traditional means of marketing, as it’s harder to tell where the reality ends and money making begins in a selfie compared to a magazine advert or television commercial.

Then there are others who consider what she has done it’s own marketing scam – after all since “quitting” social media, people outside of the world of instagram who never knew who she was suddenly do. She has been talked about across the world, been asked to appear on television, and has gained even more followers. Those who consider themselves friends of Essena O’Neill have also lashed back and have gone so far as to call her actions a “hoax” and claim her “stunt” is actually a reaction to a bad break up which took place during her stay in LA, effectively labeling what she has done a modern-day teenage temper tantrum that is just happening to play out before millions of people. Other people don’t quite seem to understand taking to social media to condemn social media and then asking for “donations” from “fans” who were only acquired via social media instead of getting a real job like the rest of the world would were they to need an income.

"photography

If you want my opinion, I really do not care so much about what O’Neill’s motives were so much as I am interested in the conversation it has started about social media, it’s role in our lives, and if there is any level of social responsibility we need to own and should expect others (be them individuals or companies) to own in this digital age. It’s actually a topic I have always been interested about, especially as a blogger and avid social media user. I do think there is definitely truth behind O’Neill’s claim that social media is “not real” and her readiness to expose just exactly how much money some people are making through product placement is bold and should be admired. But her narrow black and white all-or-nothing mentality when it comes to social media is very short-sighted. So without further ado, here are my personal thoughts on social media:

"photography

Social media can be a business like any other…

And like any business, it’s how you run it that shows what kind of person you are. Whether people like it or not, being famous on the internet has become a profession. And like any profession, there are some in this field that work very hard and others who seem to have just gotten lucky or manipulate the world around them to work in their favor. But let’s focus a moment on users who are working hard at their social media careers. There are personalities and “gurus” out there who take their job very seriously and work very hard at creating incredible content – be it through writing, videos or photography. For some reason, in this digital age, we all expect to be spoon fed this kind of entertainment for free. Oddly enough, no one would simply pick up a magazine off a stand and walk away without paying, and yet when it comes to content creators online, we feel as if we are owed their content.

If you have turned social media into a job and work hard at creating worthy material, you have the right to earn money from it as you would any other profession as long as they do so with transparency and integrity. I agree 100% that lying to the people who follow you and hang on your every word about the products you use simply to make money is plain wrong, as is the amount of money that is getting passed around for a simple product placement photo made to look as if it were not a product placement photo. But there are plenty of people who turn down 80% of offers made to them, refusing to sacrifice content and quality for dollar signs. These individuals support companies who they truly stand behind and should not be made to feel bad about that.

In addition to making money through sponsorship, there are also creative artists using the platform to gain a wider audience and in turn, new clients. For photographers who are freelancing and cannot afford huge marketing campaigns, this is a beautiful thing.

It’s all relative

To me there is a marked difference between personalities and visual or text-based content creators and men and women who only post selfies. I fully stand behind my statement that a selfie is not art. And while it would seem logical to say that someone churning out well thought out and perfectly edited videos or someone taking incredible photographs is investing a lot more time and energy in creating some kind of “product” – meaning an end result that can be consumed in some way (this way being entertainment in this case) – as much as it may pain someone to hear it, a selfie in this sense is also a “product”: it is also being consumed for entertainment.

Whether we like it or not, people like looking at pictures of beautiful people. That’s why instafamous women and men have so many followers. And in terms of marketing themselves, they clearly know what they are doing and I am sure there is a measure of hard work that goes into creating the image they portray online. I am not focusing on the ethics behind doing so, but simply stating that based on these facts, I can’t really claim one type of instagrammer or youtuber works harder than the other. Therefore based on work ethic alone I cannot judge if an instagrammer that is famous based on his or her looks deserves their “fame” any more or and less than an incredible landscape photographer on Instagram does. But I will say that society as a whole is clearly superficial when a pretty 18 year old can capitalize on her good looks enough to have 20x as many followers as AP’s instagram account. And that to me is a problem.

"photography

Social Media is full of creation…

And also inspires creation in the process. Social media goes beyond personalities, attractive people and making money. Instagram, for example, as a place full of incredible photography and other forms of artwork. It is a wonderful platform for artists to get their work out there and be seen and also a wonderful source of inspiration. I cannot tell you how many photographers I have come across on the platform that have inspired both me on a visceral level and have and positively influenced my own work and creative endeavors. And extending beyond individuals, there are also twitter accounts for magazines and companies that tweet about art, politics, social causes, food, travel, and just about everything else in between. I get half of my daily dose of current events from my twitter feed.

Social Media levels the playing field

The social media platform twitter has also been instrumental in other demographics outside of the world of social media personalities, content creators, and artists. And this is because, at the end of the day, social media, in it’s myriad of forms, is simply another form of communication. And communication is used by all of us. (Granted, social media is something that you can choose to opt out of much easier than other forms of communication like talking, e-mail writing or phoning, but I hope you are picking up what I’m putting down.)

Social media has been instrumental in helping social and political movements take place. We all saw how Twitter was absolutely instrumental to the Arab Spring which began at the end of 2010 in Tunisia and continued to spread throughout countries of the Arab League and beyond. Social media was used as a tool for collective activism, which helped individuals who did not agree with those in power circumvent media channels owned and operated by the state.

In addition to leveling out the playing field for citizens dealing with despotic rulers, social media has also given a voice for those whose actual voices would otherwise not be heard due to systemic institutionalized racism. What once would have been swept under the rug has now been exposed. In the last year or so, dozens of videos exposing police violence and blatant disregard for the lives of black Americans have gone viral, forcing not only America but the world to look at what is taking place. This has lead to many people speaking out against this injustice and fighting for change. Although we have a long way to go in this respect, we have seen social media be a catalyst for some progress: by the summer of 2015, California, South Carolina, Nevada and New Jersey had all passed specific laws requiring certain officers to wear body cameras.

Online platforms are also a godsend for many people, older or younger, who may not be as secure with navigating social situations in public and find the world online a comforting place where they can connect with like-minded individuals and forge lasting friendships with others.

"photography

It is easy to forget about the fact that social media in itself is not simply something teenagers and tweens use to retweet their e-celebrity crushes, something attractive people use to gain fame, or a bombardment of images that just make us feel bad about ourselves. Sure, part of social media is the world of insta-famous models with following counts depressingly 10 times that of Time Magazine’s instagram account. But it’s also full of incredible artists, has sparked political change and is a source of inspiration for many creatives out there.

In the end, social media is only a tool. And as with all tools, it’s how you use them that matters. A tool in itself is not an intension, but simply a device in which we can manipulate for whatever purpose we see fit. We have the choice in what content we follow, what images we take in and also what images we put out. It is human to be swayed and tempted by glossy images of perfect looking people, be it in magazines or on instagram, and it isn’t always wrong to enjoy this kind of imagery. But we need to remember to consume it responsibility and it is ultimately up to us how much power these kind of images should have on our own thinking and self worth. We also have the right to enjoy taking a selfie every now and then. If you are having one of those “damn-I-look-guuuuud days,” take the damned selfie because nothing is sexier than what confidence feels like. But we also need to stay vigilant and avoid falling into a constant trap of narcissistic photo taking or habitual self loathing and comparing ourselves to others and think larger, by using social media as a tool for political change and social activism as well.

photography by Rae Tashman - www.lovefromberlin.net

When I think of how I consume social media, I try to do so in a well-rounded way, because at the end of the day, it’s all bout striking a balance. And the best part about this whole damned thing? You are ultimately in control. You are in control of what you post and also who you follow. Now I don’t know about you and our opinions on social media in the wake of Essena O’neill and the stir her decision has created both inside and outside of the world of instagram (seriously, legit news sources have been posting articles about her departure from the internetz), but I’ll still be using twitter, instagram, snapchat, tumblr and pinterest and whatever new thing might come along. And I’ll be doing so like I have been all along: for pleasure, for inspiration, for inspiring others, for political and social activism, and yes, for selfies and looking at beautiful people seemingly doing the things that beautiful apparently people do.

What are your opinions on social media? I would love to hear them so please let me know in the comments below!

Photography: Rae Tashman


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Rae Tilly

Rae the EIC of LFB and YEOJA Magazine. She is also a photographer and social media influencer.

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  • You are spot on, this is the most well formed argument I have come across about the issue. While I think you do have to be a little critical of what Essena has done and how she explained herself, I do admire that she is encouraging her very young audience to not take social media so seriously, to take a break from it every now and then and to be aware of the toxicity it can promote (especially for impressionable girls). But that’s not to say social media, the tool as you put it, is totally at fault. Through social media I am able to access so many sources of inspiration. As long as you approach it with a positive mindset, and indeed, be aware that ‘instagram’ essentially only depicts the ‘highlight reels’ of people’s lives, I don’t believe it can be truly harmful at all.

    xx Carina

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Carina! So glad that you found this argument interesting! I do agree that what she is doing is admirable, and no doubt a lot of young people who might have been feeling really bad about themselves will be helped by her message and her act of exposing the “truth” behind insta-famous men and women solely being followed for their looks. And yes, it’s all about how you approach these things at the end of the day!

  • I was hoping you would do a post on the Essena case because I’ve always thought your opinions genuinely intriguing. Like you, I don’t care for Essena’s motive and, like you, care instead for the conversation her actions have sparked. It’s a conversation that NEEDS to be had, that NEEDS to be acknowledged and I’m so glad she’s shaken up the world do start speaking about it.

    The first day I heard about her actions, I spent the rest of my waking hours watching video responses, reading text responses, reading tweets, reading news, reading everything and anything that is related to social media, transparency, ethics, mental illness and everything and anything that correlated all of the aforementioned and/or anything else related to the subject.

    Partly the reason why the news provoked such an interested and huge reaction out of me was because I completely understood where she came from. Her core message, to me, seems to be about how social media can so easily consume a person in this world of superficial, digital interest especially in terms of numbers.

    It’s undeniable, her point; No matter our age, our background, our culture, whatever we do, if we honestly reflect upon our intentions of sharing our social media, whether to inspire or to be inspired, no matter to be happy with ourselves, to be proud of ourselves — whatever the case, we want our works to be shared, to be viewed and to be appreciated. What does this equate to in social media currency? Likes, views, followers. No matter how we try to deny it, the fact is that we do care about how much our work is being seen. This is where I believe Essena’s primary concern and trigger came from — our obsession with the numbers that can render social media dangerous.

    And that’s where my empathy felt the most, because I understand how numbers can very much so drive a person to the brink and into self-loath. While I understand that not everyone monitor numbers to the point of determining their self-worth from them, but the point Essena was trying to make is that social media hold the potential to harm and endanger oneself. (I’m going about in circles, aren’t I…?)

    That said, I do agree that social media can have a tremendous positive impact on opinions and social movements. It’s the beauty of social media, really, that virtually everyone’s voice can be heard and I think if we skew towards the good and understand how poisonous social media can be, social media can be an extremely wonderful place.

    For the record, I think her actions has had a wonderful effect on bringing awareness to the adverse effects of social media. At least it has been, for the lack of a better word, revitalizing for me.

    May | THE MAYDEN

    • rae

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, May! And I am so happy to hear that you were curious about what my thoughts were on the matter! It really means a lot to me that you care about LFB and what I have to say here! I am so humbled.

      I also read a lot of articles about the situation and watched response videos on youtube from many different users and have also read a few blog posts talking about Essena. I do think that she brings up a lot of good points and if young teens are only using social media to gain acceptance and followers than that is unhealthy. In this sense, yes I agree with her core message too. But I do think that she has a very narrow mindset of just what exactly social media is and what it is also used for. It goes way beyond only being a tool for “pretty people.”

      And yes, I agree with you, at least her actions have spurred the internet in having a larger conversation on the matter!

  • I agree that social media in itself is a neutral tool. I guess whatever happens on social media is a reflection of our society, itself e.g. consumerism, certain beauty ideals, in regards to what Essena was talking about. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this since I’m only a few years older than her, but I remember when social media wasn’t a thing, and I’ve watched as it’s evolved to what it is today. I think teens now, who have always known and used social media, wouldn’t have the perspective we have, so it would be a lot easier to get sucked into.

    Another point on leveling the playing field – I love how it’s made it easier for me to view media made by/featuring/for people of colour. Traditional mass media, especially here in Aus, is super white, and definitely does not reflect my reality, so I like being able to control that aspect of what I consume.

    Somewhat unusually for a blogger, I guess, but I’m not too big on Twitter and Instagram. I have private accounts on there and I only follow people I immediately know (I guess I use them kind of like Facebook). I love the process of traditional blogging (I can’t believe I’m having to apply “traditional” to blogs now haha) and reading blogs, but I think if I extended sharing things about my life to more platforms, or checking in on other people’s lives all throughout the day, it would be kind of exhausting (for me personally). I totally understand the value of Instagram for other bloggers or people in the creative industry, though!

    • rae

      I agree entirely – in general, the way we use forms of communication is a reflection of our society – right there with you. I agree that it must be very weird for the younger generations to understand a world outside of all of this instafame and striving for instafame if they have only ever grown up with social media.

      And you bring up such a fantastic point that I didn’t even think about. I agree entirely that social media have given us girls of color more people to look up to. The big industries that are not run in a “grassroots” sense are not casting minorities in major roles. But on the internet, an asian woman can create a huge following for herself. Even if her following is based on her looks, at least young asian girls can see a face from their own race and feel proud about their own ethnicity and find beauty in it.

      As far as using all the other channels of social media – I will be the first to say that it can get exhausting, but it is also a lot of fun. I have made some really great and REAL friendships via my blog and twitter and when I am walking to work and having a bit of a chat with a friend on twitter who is in the UK, it’s like I have a friend right there with me on my way to work.

      I think that Essena got overwhelmed and was really pushing the negative side of social media, so good on her that she realized it, but I think she could have handled her flouncing a bit more elegantly.

  • missgetaway

    Thanks for sharing your opinion on this topic. I very much agree with you. It’s a business and that’s the big “problem”. Because usually younger people don’t realize how much there actually is an advertisement that looks like a normal picture.

    Love, Kerstin
    http://www.missgetaway.com/

    • rae

      I do not think it being a business in general is a bad thing, but like all businesses there are good ones and bad ones and we need to fight to create good insta-businesses and demand good insta-businesses and honesty and transparency from these users!

  • I loved reading your opinion!! They were great!! :)) And your outfit is adorable!!

    http://yumiandyuji.blogspot.com/

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Yujung!

  • Such an amazing outfit. Love the jacket and shorts. Gemma xx
    http://www.jacquardflower.uk

    • rae

      Thanks, Gemma!

  • Thalyne Vieira

    Love this leather jacket ! suits really well with the skirt !

    THE CLASSIC V – http://www.theclassicv.com

    • rae

      It’s actually faux leather as I do not wear leather but thank you so much, Thalyne!

  • Caliope Couture

    Great, thoughtful post…I absolutely agree that one needs to find a healthy balance and remember that social media is, ultimately, only a tool :)
    Christina | https://caliope.name

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Caliope!

  • I don’t think social media is purely a business for everyone. I use instagram and twitter to promote my blog yes, but I also use it to connect with friends and chat to them, using it in the same way I would if I was going to text them. I do think it is what you make it, but I’m not surely it is purely a business, although there’s a lot of businesses out there using them. Healthy usage is where it’s at.

    • rae

      Oh definitely – there are artists on there creating amazing work but you are right there are also people who simple use it as a mode to remain connected to friends in their personal lives. It definitely is not a business for everyone but if it is going to be a business it should be done with integrity :) Thanks for your input!

  • I might as well just high-five you, Rae, since you expressed most of my thoughts more eloquently than I ever could myself :-) . I see social media as a tool as well, and like a knife it can be very practical or you can stab someone to death with it. All depends on how you use it. I’m not on Twitter or Facebook, but have joined Instagram not too long ago – being visually inclined that felt like a better match. Though truth be told I sometimes don’t know what to post and days go by before I go anywhere near it, tee hee. I do love the inspiration it can bring, the truly gorgeous shots that are shared. I’m with you on the selfies topic, with the exception of Alec Soth (he made some briliant “selfies” in this series: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/11/magazine/the-unselfie.html?_r=0# ). When I’ve seen a bit too many of those standard look-at-me shots (complete with duck face or whatever is the fashionable way to pose), I feel narcissism has never been so ubiquitous and celebrated. And that does make me a bit sad.
    XO,
    Izzy
    http://www.nearnoise.com

    • rae

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and Alec Soth’s work is definitely very interesting, thank you for sharing it with me!

  • Elizabeth Hisle

    This is the BEST POST I’ve seen on this topic. Yes, perfectly curated pictures are a “fake” life, but so are the pristine homes found in magazines or on Apartment Therapy. I know no one’s home looks like ATs lovely home tours 100% of the time, but it doesn’t make it wrong to enjoy the pictures and create home goals. Social media is kind of the same concept. Actually, if it wasn’t for social media, I’m not sure I would have ever picked up a camera, and that makes me sad. No, I am not a pro Instagrammer, but it feels to nice to look at something I created and feel good about it! Without social media, I think a lot of us wouldn’t be as inspired to follow creative passions in our free time. Just don’t let it take over your life.

    aroseisinbloom.blogspot.com

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Elizabeth, so glad you could take something away from it! And I agree with you entirely!

  • I loved your take on this. It’s an interesting topic to say the least.

    Mary
    http://www.marymurnane.com

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Mary!

  • yasmin sanchez

    Gorgeous, I love your style !!!

    http://www.memoriesapril.com

    • rae

      Thanks, Yasmin!

  • JXL (Alyse)

    This is an extremely well written and thought out post. I wholeheartedly agree with social media as a tool and the importance of using it responsibly. Was definitely nodding along to when you mentioned that there’s something wrong when someone can gain a huge following based on image (I’m guilty of following someone on aesthetics myself).

    In line with responsible usage, I was reading up on the O’Neill issue this week and one of my first thoughts was, “She should go to therapy.” I think the alarming part was how much she let social media, a platform for connecting, dominate her life. Relying on affirmation and external validation from strangers on the internet is one of the most unhealthy parts of our digital age.

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Alyse! I do think that O’Neill has some deeper issues than just the normal everyday ones we have with social media and I do hope she sorts these things out. Wishing her nothing but the best.

  • I agree one hundred percent to what you’re writing here! After the video I’ve had discussions about this multiple times and I really do believe that what she say can be true for many many of the people out there who made it on social media, and it’s right of her to quit if that’s how she feel, BUT, I don’t think she can speak for all of these people, because everyone uses social media differently and it is what you make of it. I also think that to a lot of people social media can give anxiety and so on, but for others it’s a freedom to express yourself and find other people with common interests.

    Filippa ⎮ http://alwaysadot.blogspot.com

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Filippa! And you are right, at the end of the day, we can only share our own experiences and hope that the reasons why other people do things are good ones. I think we are justified in pushing ourselves and those around us to do the right thing, but I do not think the way Essena pointed the finger at all social media users was the right way to go about things.

  • Very well written, Rae. I totally agree with you. Social media is such a wonderful tool in so many ways, & an extremely negative one if you’re in a sensitive place in your emotional life. It really is whatever you make of it. I think she made the right decision leaving social media if it was harming her to this extent. When you begin emulating your life around whatever your idea of perfection is, you’re probably better off staying away from the internet.

    I think most importantly, however, this whole situation should really push people to ask themselves what the purpose of their online content is. Obviously I can’t dictate what someone posts on their accounts, but I don’t think it would be so difficult for more individuals to start questioning our motives before posting, rather than mindlessly perpetuate this very superficial way of sharing our lives online.

    By the way, you look so beautiful in these photos! <3

    Sofia | palelily.blogspot.com

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Sofia! I agree 100% with what you have written here as well. We need to be critical about why we do things and why others do things and push ourselves and those around us to be accountable and use social media for good.

  • So well-written and spot on! I understand why she quit social media, but I think instead of quitting it all together she should have turned her social media channels into something positive and uplifting. She could’ve done some good. So I totally agree with what you said that it’s all about how you use it.

    Love your hair!
    ~Sara
    Sincerely, Sara

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Sara!

  • Perfect topic :) Really well written and I enjoyed reading this so much. Thanks for sharing.

    Stephanie | http://www.stephykeung.com

    • rae

      Glad you enjoyed, Stephy!

  • Ting

    This is such an amazing post! xo

    http://www.eatlovemerry.com

    • rae

      Thanks, Ting!

  • Loved reading your thoughts on this! To me, I don’t see how she could say that she would quit social media since that’s what built her brand. She could’ve simply stepped back or use her fame towards something positive. Just my thought though!

    Tina
    http://www.justatinabit.com

    • rae

      Thanks so much Tina! And I agree, she really could have used the fame she had already gained for something positive!

  • clara mcmillan

    Love the leather!

    God bless,

    XO, Claire

    http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.com

    • rae

      It’s faux but thank you!

  • Love the outfit!

    I’m so fed up of hearing about Essena! I quite social media for a while a few years ago and it was brilliant- although my blog suffered majorly because of it! I too am so grateful for the discussion it has brought about, if anything I hope it helps younger girls to realise how fake social media can be and helps us bloggers and social media addicts realise how much of our lives we spend online!!

    we are dannah | australian lifestyle blog

    • rae

      I think it is good to quit once in a while and just remember what life is all about. I would not say that online is not “real life” though, because I have made some really incredible friends via the internet and read so many engaging and interesting articles as well, but I would definitely say that unplugging and just enjoying the world around you is super important.

  • This outfit is really cute ♥

    summerdaisy.net

    • rae

      Thanks, Summer!

  • I feel the same way about social media! Sure it shows the best aspects of our lives but sites like Instagram allow me to share what’s going on I my life with others. Love this post!

    http://thecourtneydiaries.com

    • rae

      So true, Courtney!

  • Sophie Athawes

    I think you make some super valid points here. I recently started a job in SEO and SMM and I love these kind of debates/topics. Great post hun, you look gorgeous as always xx

    Sophie Elizabeth
    http://www.popcornandglitter.co.uk

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Sophie! Hope your new SEO and SMM job is going well – could definitely use some of those skills myself!

  • I think that social media, like pretty much everything else out there, has it’s pros and cons. It’s easy to become envious of all the curated feeds out there but you just have to remember that it’s all “curated.” So I try to take it all with a grain of salt. As someone who blogs and makes a bit of money from it I definitely know the kind of hard work that goes into all of this and I don’t think that the eye rolls that come from people outside of the industry are warranted. It looks superficial and in many ways it is but there are a lot of things going on in the backend and I respect those that are successful at it.

    -M
    http://www.violetroots.com

    • rae

      So true – I agree with you 100%!

  • quynh tran

    This is a GREAT post. Whether one likes it or not, social media is a huge part of our lives right now and its been such a great platform for so many people out there. I love social media. I admit it has taken over so much of my time that sometimes I have to remember to unplug and just enjoy life. All that aside, I love your outfit. so chic and edgy.

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Quynh! I love social media too but yes, besides what people are doing with their social media accounts, it is important in general to unplug every now and then and enjoy life outside of the computer or iphone!

  • Jasmine

    This is such a well written post. I’ve given Social Media and its growing role in my life as of late, and you brought up so many good points. I think that while it is great to have that opportunity to create and to connect with people who also create, it can be so easy to give it more power than it should over our lives. I think we all need could use a little balance when it comes to social media and our real lives :)

    be the plebeian

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Jasmine! And I agree moderation is key!

  • I agree with you completely. It is a business if you make it that way. People can stay humble and artistic and turn down the offers they get,but people are people and as soon they see the numbers…well, as you say- to each its own.

    • rae

      Definitely agree with you, Aluminah!

  • Ellese Launer

    Yes!! i have been thinking the same. I also am so grateful that social media was not around when I was a kid. To think this is all normal would be a very weird way to grow up. Xo, Ellese

    http://rockpaperglam.com/

    • rae

      I totally agree. Social Media can be such a great tool, but it is so important for children to be children and grow up playing outside and making real relationships in person with other peers.

  • Great post! I’m SO glad that my childhood wasn’t taken up by social media, as much as nowadays kids is! As with all things, there are always negatives and positives and it’s upto the individual to know their limits and value themselves!

    Pop over to my blog!

    Sarah
    https://everydayconcepts.wordpress.com

    • rae

      I agree – I am so glad that my childhood was full of running around outside and coming home with dirty clothes. I hope that when I have kids they do not get into social media for a while and just enjoy being children for as long as possible.

  • Great post! Social media is such a huge thing right now. I think it does give amazing oppotunities, ones that wouldn’t have been possible even 10 years ago. But I also think everybody should take short brakes from it and learn to switch off their phone every once in a while, including me!
    Emma xxx

    http://www.wellemma.com

    • rae

      Thanks Wellemma and yes it really is a huge topic right now. And yes, we would all benefit from unplugging and stepping away every now and then!

  • Christina Härter

    Klasse Outfit! Der Rock ist ein absoluter Hingucker, ebenso wie die Lederjacke. Die Mütze steht dir total gut und passt super zu deinen Haaren! Du hast total meinen Geschmack getroffen! :) Liebste Grüße,
    Christina von http://lifeas-christina.blogspot.de/

    • rae

      Danke, Christina! Die Jacke ist eigentlich faux Leder, da ich kein Leder trage :)

  • Very well written and thought out post social media is such an important part of our society right now – your so right sometimes we need to remember to be present in the moment!

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Bree!

  • I actually really love social media! I’ve met some really great friends out of it, as well as people that share the same interests as I do. Actually, my self-esteem skyrocketed because of social media! It’s not because of the likes, it’s because I’m surrounded by such beautiful people inside and out, even if it’s on an online interface. When I first started taking social media/posting pictures of my makeup more seriously, I used to be so jealous of all these people because they were prettier, they had a large following, they were able to grow faster than I could, they had more talent than I did, they were able to make money out of what they liked doing, so many things. I learned to not compare myself to those things because in the end, it doesn’t do anything for me except leaving me feeling negatively about myself and those people who never did anything bad to me. I also learned that what’s online is far from the truth – as people that open up part of our lives to the public, of course we want to put the best versions of ourselves out there. And that transcended from the online world to the real one – I was always comparing myself to people I knew in real life, how they’re more successful than I am or how they’re doing all these cool things. It taught me to focus on my own life and create something for myself rather than wishing I had someone else’s, and I think that’s a valuable lesson for me.

    becky ♡ star violet

    • rae

      hey Becky, thank you so much for your comment, I think you are absolutely right and it is really maazing to see the way that social media can also positively affect us personally, on a micro level. I have also made so many incredible friends through social media – many of whom I count as some of my nearest and dearest friends in real life as well. I am sorry to hear that you went through a rather negative phase with social media towards the beginning of your blogging journey, but I definitely think that comparing ourselves to others is not only something we do online and it is great that you were able to see the way out of the tunnel, do your own thing, and also realize that when we only see the curated versions of the lives of others it is always very easy to assume they have it better. Keep doing what you are doing, lady! xx

  • Becky Hughff

    Incredibly well written post! You are so right when you say that we expect to read content for free, like we are owed it – there are so many bloggers/youtubers who truly deserve the rewards they’ve reaped from their work. I think social media is incredibly powerful in this day and age and it will only continue to grow, I have to say though that my pet peeve is when I see groups of friends or couples out in restaurants and they’re all on their phones and they are missing out on real life communication. I think some people need to take a step back every now and then as we miss out on so much that is happening right in front of us.

    http://www.ohsobecky.com

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Becky! And I agree, it is a bit wrong of the internet to assume that content is just given and to get bent out of shape when a blogger wants to turn their blog into a career. I spend multiple hours a day on my blog including creating visual content, writing, researching images, and replying to comments and I LOVE the space that I have created here, but in order to keep it at this level and also make it into something even bigger, I do eventually need to earn money from it or I need to do something else as it’s really a luxury to be able to run a full time blog without getting paid in some capacity and not having a regular job that most people cannot afford.

      And I agree with you as well, social media is awesome, but when it actually takes away time and attention from those right in front of you, it’s time to adjust social media spending habits!

  • This is probably the best post regarding the situation that I’ve read yet. While social media (like traditional media before it) has the opportunity to only present heavily curated and warped views of daily life, I really think it’s all what you make of it. Yes, there is pressure to be popular. But it’s not really a new phenomena, it is just being presented and executed in a way that’s new-ish.

    I know bloggers that meticulously track when is the best time to post, or will go back and delete posts that seem unflattering or didn’t do well. While I’ve fallen into this fad on occasion, I think my relationship with social media is still relatively healthy – even though I choose what gets shared, my life dictates my online presence – and not the other way around.

    • rae

      Thank you so much for your comment and I am so glad that you enjoyed the post. I think it really depends on how you view your social media accounts to determine how you use them. For example, I have an account on intsagram that is for work so I only post things that represent my C.I. but I also have a private one that I just post other images on for friends or for myself.

  • Vaida Tamošauskaitė

    oh wow. agreed to all that – AMEN. tho i’m not writing this just to agree with you, it’s just all the recent events in the world regarding the social media, what’s true, and what’s not. then Paris.. the way people are responding, so many violent messages, so much anger, and lots of other things – I truly believe that it’s not the social media – it’s people itself.
    i loved what Dalai Lama said about the praying, that he’s all into this himself, but why we should ask anything from God? it’s not God who did all this after all. why we should ask him to fix it? it’s us, humans.
    same with social media – it’s not twitter, it’s not instagram, facebook, google, you name it. it’s the one who’s behind it. the HUMAN.
    and then i really don’t understand why people need to fight so much about it. why everyone’s got to prove their point of view? there will never be one opinion. but every single one is unique, and has it’s right to be said, listened to, but not fought about.
    i truly wish and hope for the peace in the social media and real world, cause now all looks just hilarious…
    i might have sounded bit off topic, but it’s just all comes together eventually. cause people are faking a lot, fighting a lot, and that isn’t bringing any good.