Anatomy of this Outfit: Faux fur coat – thrifted | Top – Forever 21 | Skirt – Iron fist Clothing | Boots – thrifted | Tights – H&M
*At the time of purchase I was unaware that this coat was real fur. Had I had known, I would not have purchased it.

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*EDIT: I recently received extremely offensive comments due to the coat in this post on my facebook. FYI THIS COAT ISN’T EVEN MADE OF FUR. I choose to live my life with compassion for all animals and living creatures – which includes humans. I will never understand those who claim to fight for animal rights but have such tunnel vision that they think it is okay to curse at those and call them offensive sexist names in their backwards version of social justice.

Compassion is about all of the world’s creatures, which includes how we treat each other. Even if this coat was fur – it could have been handed down by a grandmother or bought second hand. And even if it wasn’t, shock tactics an name calling isn’t the way to try to spread a message that should be rooted in compassion.

But this is even more offensive and hurtful as I strive each and every day to live as compassionately as possible. If these people took one moment and actually read the blog post or looked at my blog they would know that, but instead they choose to jump to quick conclusions because they are clearly full of hate.

When I try to educate people about animal rights I do not call them sexist names or try to intimidate them. Let’s teach people to love animals from a place of compassion.

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I have been single for the better half of a year, and let me tell you, I am still loving it. Now, after my first big european love and subsequent heartbreak in 2011, I cried for the better half of a year, picked myself up, and went to sow my seeds. And sow my seeds I did. (Wait, does this metaphor actually work for females?) But after my last break up, I have been much more focused on becoming the best goddamned version of myself and doing things that make me happy and further my career.

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Maybe I am just getting old, or maybe I am just finally coming into my own and really loving my independence and building up a strong enough character, but men are the farthest thing from my mind right now. Not that sleeping around has anything to do with character or lack thereof – let me be clear on that. I just mean that I generally have no major need for men these days both romantically and physically.

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With the advent of Tinder, you would think that a one-stop all-you-can-eat buffet of hunky goodness (Don’t know about you, but the selection in Berlin is pretty top. I mean seriously, how can a city be full of such amazingly attractive men?) would be a single girl’s dream. And while I am guilty of having the app, I have actually used it more as a way to make friends than a place to find booty calls. (Although the occasional booty call has been known to happen. Hey, I am human and I have my needs too!)

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That is not to say that I haven’t met some interesting guys as of late, because I have! But that’s the best part about being single. It allows you to meet so many interesting individuals without any pressure of having to settle down the next day, and start making wedding plans or talking about a baby making three. It also allows you to still put yourself first at the end of the day.

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Now, I am kind of notorious for putting everybody and their mother before myself, especially when it comes to dating. So having the time right now to focus on myself for once has been pretty liberating and all kinds of amazing. I don’t feel any ticking clocks and I am just living for me and my dreams at the moment, trying to carve out a career for myself, re-establish a work out routine, and spend my free time either in my own awesome company or in the company of the pretty awesome people I have the luxury of calling my friends.

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Do I hope that by this time next year I am spending my weekends cuddling on the sofa with more than just my two cats? Sure. But I’m not crunching at the bit. Because as beautiful as love is, as wonderful as it is to be in a relationship, the more time you spend with other people, the less time you have for yourself. And god knows, I hardly have any time for all the things I want to do as it is.

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So to my future boyfriend: Hey there, I can’t wait to stay up binge watching netflix with you and being the little spoon, stumble out of our local haunts drunk off our arses at 6 in the morning, cook dinner together, have sexy time on every surface of your and my flat (Jk! But seriously…), laze around on weekends in the park, visit local museums while holding hands, and all that other sickeningly sweet shit couples do that I love. But take your time, cos I’m in no rush. Love, Rae.

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To all my single ladies out there, what is your take on singlehood? And for those who are taken, how do you make sure to keep a healthy balance between couple-time and me-time? Let me know in the comments below.

Photography: Betti
Editing: Rae

Don’t forget to check out LFB’s podcasts & sign up for LFB’s conscious living challenge.

Stay conscious, Rae


January’s lovely sponsors: Adventures of an Anglophile | Yellow Icing

Rae Tilly

Rae the EIC of LFB and YEOJA Magazine. She is also a photographer and social media influencer.


  • Looking hot, Rae. I think a real relationship only comes into the equation once you feel complete without one. It’s cliche but totally necessary to know how to love and take care of yourself first before committing to a whole other person! If we aren’t happy with ourselves, no one else can make *us* happy. I’ve been officially attached to my girlfriend for about a year and we are pretty serious, and we’ve definitely been through the whole ‘me-time’ vs ‘couple-time’ crisis. I think that when it comes to a long-term relationship your me-time and couple-time has to overlap. You have to feel fulfilled, relaxed and thoroughly comfortable with the other to be yourself and do everything you want to do at the same time. Could even spend a day in each other’s company just working on your own projects. I think it definitely helps that we are both in the creative field, so we share everything and bounce ideas off each other, even though we are both working on completely different businesses and have different styles. I always think it’s important to maintain a sense of self in a relationship, and make sure you know who you are before you get into one, so you don’t get lost. And then both of your personalities should nurture each other, instead of sucking each other in.

    Haha I’m not even sure if I made any sense, but in any case, I know how awesome independence can feel. And the right man will never take that away from you. All the best in 2016, Rae! Cheers to good friendships and self love.


    • rae

      Hey Audrey! While what you say is very true about needing to be your own person before being in a relationship, I do often think that there are sometimes just bad relationships. Sometimes you are already whole and just happen to meet someone who you think is going to be right for you, but isn’t for whatever reason – be it you just are not compatible in the end or the other person has some deep-seated issues, or the timing is off, or, or or…

      As far as the “me time” vs “couple time” crisis: I feel like so many couples go through this after the honeymoon period ends. The honeymoon period has to end and is actually a good and healthy thing because you can’t sustain a relationship at that intensity all the time for years, but when the relationship goes from super intense and wanting to be with each other all the time to adjusting to everyday life, there def is that weird adjustment period to settling into still spending couple time but also spending time by yourself. I think you are right that one way is to actually have both overlap but in a way that still leaves room for independence. Like you said – being able to be with a person who you can be in the same room with but where you each can focus on your own thing is so key and important! You are so lucky to have found someone who you can do that with!

  • RAE!! Kudos to you for speaking so frankly on the subject, and major props for sounding so self-actualized. They say that when people stop looking for love is usually when it finds them! By the way, those combat boots look like absolute beaten-in perfection.

    xx freshfizzle

    • rae

      Thanks, Tania! And that phrase is very true! I am definitely not looking at the moment however!

  • Loved this, Rae! (I’m such an LFB fangirl it hurts in the best way.)

    Agreeing with Audrey below that a real, well-intentioned relationship only really becomes part of your equation and YOUR game once you’re wholly, or as close to being, comfortable with yourself and your sense of lone wolf syndrome. They always say ‘it’ll come when you’re not even looking’ and all those other cliches you see pansied all over the Internet. But they’re right, I think. I met my ex after losing a drinking game at my best friends place and having to let him (the best friend) swipe just 3 people on Tinder. That was in the same year where I utterly threw caution to the wind and did things for me: I filmed an advert for Bose, I flew to Morocco for a work trip with the girls, I was trying new things and working out what I thought I might one day be. Just as I was about to furiously and tipsily uninstall, said ex messaged me all sorts of niceties that made me realise he was someone worthy. Heh, so that one ended so it’s not the best analogy, but, you get my drift ;) I’m a firm believer that whoever you’re ‘supposed’ to be with – if anyone – will sidle up and slot right into the awesome life you’re busy carving for yourself, workouts, work, spending quality time with friends, travels and all. xx

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Michelle, and I am so humbled that you love LFB so much, seriously!

      I definitely agree as well but I do think it is important to note that not all relationships or do not work out because the people were not whole. Sometimes we are completely happy with ourselves and are in a good state of mind but the partner is just not right for us. And I think this is an absolutely fine example. I think a lot of the people we date who we do not end up with are important and were all people we were meant to date. And you are totally right – when the person is right you will always find/have time for that person.

  • Looking pretty fine, and is that snow? Fucking jealous of the snow.

    At the end of 2015 I left Martin, it was hard but it was also the right choice, and it had to be done, in a way. Part of me feels sad to say that since becoming single I have had so much more direction and drive. I don’t have a plan (I never have plans) but I have an idea and ideas are fantastic, and girl you are nailing your ambition. You also carry off black and brown so well (I couldn’t do it). As much as being in a relationship is nice, it’s also pretty nice to have space, actually, it’s amazing to have space. I’m disappointed those boots are thrifted, they look so bloody comfy.


    • rae

      Yes it is snow! Although at the moment I am smack dab in the middle of sunny paradise here in Puerto Rico :) I relate so much to your comment here – I was really sad to have to end my last relationship and still think on my ex fondly even though I know that things were really bad in the end and that breaking up was the right decision. Sometimes I wonder if there could be a different “future” for us in the, well, future but I can’t sit around waiting for it. And the same happened to me – I found all this energy and passion and drive to do what had taken a backseat to my relationship. Glad to hear you have also found your direction and drive!

  • This is absolutely gorgeous – totally in love with your outfit and the photography is just stunning!! :)

    Layla xx

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Layla!

  • Oh my gosh, how are you so beautiful! Your face, hair, legs? Seriously! I love the coat and the whole combination actually. It’s never something I’d choose to wear myself but seeing it on you makes me want to experiment more with fashion and step out of my comfort zone! Brilliant outfit!

    Sally ~ DiagonSally

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Sally! And you should definitely go for some experimentalization! That’s the fun of fashion!

  • That coat, that hair, that FACE. Omggg you are beaut

    • rae

      Thanks, Amy

  • I just love the coat!! Looks rather unique

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

    • rae

      It has definitely been one of my best thrift store finds this winter!

  • Blue Adriatic

    My dear , you look so unreal with this great hair, lovely face and perfect outfit.
    Kiss, Silvy

    • rae

      Thanks, Silvy!

  • There’s a great analogy I remember. A lover is whip cream on a cake. Great addition on an already great cake.

    To be quite honest with you, Rae, I never cared about relationships when I was single and even when I was, and still am, in a relationship. I’ve been told that I don’t ACT like I’m in relationship, and that I LOOK single. Which made knit my brows and go ‘wtf? how am I suppose to act?’ Then tell me they have some sort of remnant of their partner and act romantic, and then I go ‘ick no, that’s so gross.’

    I asked my boyfriend whether we acted like we’re in a relationship, and made the valid point that people don’t act like they are in relationships until they are with their partner. We spent a lot of time together, and a lot of time without and I was content with that. For me, to know that we are own person with our own life is what makes balance.

    xx Bash | H E Y   B A S H | bloglovin’

    • rae

      I def. agree. No one should ever feel like they NEED a boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter. We should feel whole on our own first (want to be clear – I do! And I did with my last bf as well, but I am happily single now as well!)

      I think that so many people have this idea that in order to be in love you have act a certain way, but that kind of mentality is inaccurate. If you and your boyfriend love each other, then it does not matter “how” you display that love.

  • Melisa

    Safe to say I’m obsessed with your hair. and outfit is super on point, plus that fur coat is LIFE<3 x

    • rae

      Thanks, Melisa

  • You are so beautiful! And I’m so in love with your hair. It’s amazing !!

    • rae

      Thanks, Emma

  • I like how your enjoying this transition in your life. Seems like your in a good spot!


    • rae

      Thanks, Christina

  • This is such a great post. Loving your outfit and hair, but your bold honesty is awesome!! I love that you’re sharing how more than okay it is to just do you. Awesome!!

    xo Annie

    • rae

      Thank you so much Annie! And glad to hear that you enjoyed the honesty in this post!

  • WhatWouldVWear

    Gorgeous photography! Love your style so much, and your honesty is refreshing! LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!

    xoxo, Vanessa

    • rae

      Thanks Vanessa! So happy you enjoyed this read!

  • I agree that being single leaves you open to meeting so many interesting people, whether it leads anywhere or not. This is a fantastic coat on you by the way, it looks so luxurious and yet edgy – somehow you manage to combine both qualities ! :)

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice x

    • rae

      Oh totally! And thanks so much :)

  • The Beaute Blend

    Love the coat! Enjoy your time being single and focusing on yourself and your career!

    • rae

      Thanks, lady!

  • It’s so cool you’re discovering and having time for yourself! Just dream and focus on your life! I’m married and we really enjoy our time together but we still have alone time too. Just a lovely post and a gorgeous coat!

    • rae

      Thank you! And yes, being single at 28 has been an incredible ride and I am very happy. And I think it is great that you are in a marriage that is balanced. That is key for longevity!

  • I remembered being single for a couple of years during my teen – 20s stage, and really enjoyed that time to myself. Now, I’m in a relationship that’s lasted 4.5 years and it is tough sometimes differentiating your needs vs. your partner’s. But I guess you just have to tell your partner what it is you want and hope he/she is understanding enough to let you do you.

    • rae

      Oh definitely. Time alone to yourself can be awesome! And yes, relationships are also a wonderful thing but of course the your needs vs. your partner’s needs is always a constant hurdle I think. Oftentimes, actually it’s due to us and not even our partner because we enjoy spending time with them and doing things for them that it is easy to mistake their needs for ours but it is important to still be your own person and have separate wants and needs from your partner and the relationship. Although of course putting the relationship and your partner first often is also important, if you loose yourself in another person or the relationship, I think that it can actually be detrimental in the long run.

  • Kay (shoesandglitter)

    You are an inspiration, darling! :) I really love your attitude, you’re such a strong, independent woman and I’m glad that you’re all better now and enjoying life. <3 I've been lucky to find my other half almost seven years ago and we've been together since… x Oh and by the way, you are looking mega stunning in the photos! Your hair is so gorgeous. <3


    • rae

      Thanks so much, Kay! So glad you have found an incredible person to share your life with!

  • Aditi Oberoi Malhotra

    Such a stunning look! Beautiful writing too babe!!

    Adi xx

    • rae

      Thanks, Adi!

  • I love that skirt!

    I have only ever been single so I have nothing to compare it with. I don’t need a relationship right now, but sometimes I feel like I should be in one if only for the life milestone, but that’s probably not the best attitude to go about it, haha.

    (Maybe I should move to Berlin because Tinder in Sydney is pretty tragic).

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Jane! And I honestly think that relationships are awesome – not bashing them at all! – but that being alone is great too and if you are happy as you are, then power to you. Of course, if you emotionally feel as if you would like to be in a relationship, than that is different, but I agree, if it’s only because you feel you need to reach some milestone society tells us we need to reach, then it’s best to put it aside for now. As far as Berlin, yes! Even if not for the men, come and hang out with me! Also, I am actually kind of surprised that Sydney is lacking in the cute men department?!

      • Hm I guess it’s subjective haha, most guys in Sydney (on tinder at least) aren’t really my type!

  • I lived in Ohio for work for 3 years and did long distance with my boyfriend and I have to say, it was kind of awesome. While I missed him (in small doses) I was always the more independent type and living alone and having my own apartment was suh-weeeet! Enjoy the solo time. Love the outfit, gorgeous coat!

    xo, Alice || a l i c e / T Y P E N U

    • rae

      Oh totally! I dated a guy in college who went to a neighboring university and it was awesome because we spent time with each other on the weekends but basically did our own thing during the week.

  • Nancy Wilde

    Damn, you look so cool! That coat is majestic. Thrift shops for the win. I think it’s important not to settle down just for the sake of companionship. I have always been single and sure I feel lonely as fuck sometimes, specially when I’m the “last of the mohicans” single friend… It’s great to embrace our own individuality and spend quality time with ourselves. I can’t even bother dating at the moment… Everytime I fall for someone, I’m fucked. As in doomed. No luck whatsoever. Maybe that’s why I find it safer to still be single at the age of 27 – it can’t be worse than feeling heartbroken. xx

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Nancy! Yes I am in love with this coat too and have basically been wearing it every day. I agree as well – to me dating someone just for companionship is dangerous and will not give the person what they think they are looking for. Individuality is awesome! I am sorry that sometimes you feel lonely, but I am sure the right man will come along when he is meant to!

  • Kiki Rampone

    I seriously love your sense of style, everything about this outfit is perfection. That coat is magnificent! Awesome look, and awesome outlook on life :)

    xo Kiki

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Kiki!

  • Stephanie Louise

    Rae, go you, go you, go you! First off, you are looking as flawlessss as ever. Second, we are woman, hear us roar! Loving all this openness, honesty and bluntness. We have needs, just like men. It’s sad that men and women are putting one another down because of ones PERSONAL sexual choices. Relationships can be lovely, and being single can be lovely, they all have their pros and cons. It’s amazing to hear you are trying to be the best you, and that’s important. Love yourself first.
    I gotten out of a relationship in November with a total tool, and I am on top of the world and right now I am casually flirting with a cuteeeee guy taking it slow. ;)

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Stephanie for your lovely comment! And yes, I agree entirely – no reason to put each other down when the rest of the world is already doing it! And agreed – both singlehood and being in a relationship are beautiful things, each with their own pros (and cons! as well). So glad that you left an unhealthy situation! It is much better to celebrate yourself and being alone than to be involved with someone who is going to bring you down! Get your flirt on, woman!

  • Love your thoughts. I feel like they very much reflect the feelings I have on single-dom at the moment as well.
    p.s. your coat has some serious Margot Tenenbaum vibes.

    • rae

      Thanks so much Sarah! And oh my god, I didn’t even make the connection to Margot, you are totally right.

  • Such a gorgeous outfit. Absolutely love the layers and differing lengths. Love how real and honest you are and I completely agree with you! There’s no shame in being single and just enjoying the pleasure of meeting new people. I can tell you have this amazing sense of confidence in yourself and I hope that you never lose that! <3

    Enclothed Cognition/Bloglovin

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Keri! And yes, no shame at all! Being single is a beautiful thing!

  • thedailysavant

    This is a rather fabulous outfit, if I do say so myself, but what I really like here is your candid writing! Thank you for your thoughts!

    : signe :

    : the daily savant :

    Customized T-shirt GIVEAWAY

    • rae

      Thanks, lady!


    I was a bit of a serial dater in highschool then into first year or two of university. Being an all-or-nothing kind of gal, I subsequently got hurt many times over and felt more than a little lost whenever I was single. Then I sort of got to a point that you’re at, and was single for about 2 years. I really really focused on things that I wanted. Things that were important to me. School, friendships, art making, and in becoming happy with me. And then I met a guy right before I moved to Paris (AH!) and I went anyway and stayed single there, too, and had fun, and then things worked out with that guy really naturally when I got home. I think having that time to myself – living on my own, coming to terms with myself and my own routines and rhythm, and recognizing the importance of being happy alone, is what has kept me independent and balanced in my relationship now. We both have talked about how important it is for us to be our own people in this relationship too, so I think it helps that we’re both into that.

    I hope your period of singledom is everything you need it to be and offers you all sorts of beautiful things!!

    • rae

      1. LOVE YOUR COMMENT <3 srsly.

      I think it is awesome that you were able to recognize the fact hat you were looking for something in a relationship that you actually needed to find within yourself and were able to spend those years alone, working on you and loving the process. Really happy to hear that it worked out naturally with the guy back home as well and it is awesome that you both recognise and respect each other's needs for independence. I think that the media feeds us all this crap about what a relationship is supposed to be like so we often get tricked into thinking if the other person does not want to spend every waking second with us, then it isn't love, but this mentality is utter bullshit and will actually probably lead to a faster breakup than if the two people have their own lives outside of their relationship too.

      • Yes and yes! The whole “i need you” idea the media spreads which is a symbol of intense love and dedication is just like.. yuck, in reality. The minute you desperately need someone is the minute things go wonky.

  • I love this post. Not just because your amazing outfit and that gorgeous coat, but because of why you said. It’s so important to be the best version of ourselves andbe happy with ourselves. A lot of times we do things or we don’t focus on us because of a boy and we lost direction, and us. Thanks for doing this, I really need a reminder of this once in a while :)

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Paula! I agree with you entirely!

  • you look amazing! being single is most definitely fun, and having time to focus on yourself and not worry about another person is priceless. Honestly I can say I enjoy being single just as much as being in a good relationship.

    • rae

      Thanks so much, lady! and yes, being single is definitely just as good as being in a relationship! And I think that is how it should be!

  • Bianca

    Love your hair color! xx

    • rae

      Thanks, Bianca!

  • sileas

    Aww this is wonderfully and witty written! I’m happy in a relationship but I don’t regret a minute of my single times. So please keep enjoying because your future bf might be very close ;)

    • rae

      So glad you liked this post! And I think that is the right mindset to have! To be happy either single or while in a relationship!

  • Beautiful outfit, I love your style so much!

    • rae

      Thanks, lady!

  • I LOVED this post. So real and honest, and so smart. I completely, 100% agree with your stance on singlehood! I have always been of the opinion that I’m never actively LOOKING for a boyfriend, if I meet someone and like them, awesome! But if not, I’m not looking for someone to fill some societal expectation of what’s “missing” from my life. I looooove having so much freedom and time to do the things I want to do, to work towards big goals (obviously not to say that people are in epic relationships that only enhance that part of their life!).


    • rae

      So glad you enjoyed this post! And yes, actively looking never really works, but when someone pops by at the right moment, then that is the best. And I agree, the biggest positive aspect of single life is having all the time in the world to decide what you want to do!

  • Carmen Jny (carmitive)

    Such a great post! I love how you concentrate on yourself. I think this exactly as important as taking time for your friends or your family. If you feel good with yourself you also feel good with others :) The pictures look amazing as well – I love this fluffy coat!
    xx, Carmen

  • Loving the outfit!! I’ve been single since I can remember (well, 4 years) and I absolutely love it! I have so much time to focus on myself and I’m not in a hurry to change it :)

    Pop over to my blog!


  • Swantje Tripmacker

    Love your site <3

    Swantje from