Anatomy of this Outfit: Floral Tank Top – Forever 21 | Pants – Urban Outfitters


Rae in Puerto Rico - lovefromberlin.net

It’s currently 3:47 am and I am still up. I had such an incredible and productive stay in both Puerto Rico (where I took these photos) and in Virginia, but ever since returning back to Berlin, I have been feeling overwhelmed by work, expectations, and my long term goals. My sleeping schedule has gone to shit, and I have been doing a lot of sitting around and worrying. So basially, I am just behaving like your typical post-modern twenty-something year old nearing the end of another decade who is panicking about trying to make something of her life before she turns the big 3-0 and becomes an actual adult.

Why? Because no one ever talks about making it big in your 30s as a success. The media is always so focused on those who achieve great things in their twenties. And now with the next wave of reality TV shows featuring freakishly talented children reminding us that even a 9 year old can cook better than you can and go on to win a reality tv show based on those skills, I’m feeling just a little bit mediocre.

Rae in Puerto Rico - lovefromberlin.net

To top it off, I have been placing myself under my own self-induced pressure, as a young entrepreneur who is trying to make something happen. Not even big, exciting, giant fame-bringing things, just trying to make a life for myself that I can live from.

Whenever these giant waves of doubt hit, I tend to just feel dissatisfied. Dissatisfied with my surroundings, possessions, life, and self. This dissatisfaction generally manifests itself with cleaning frenzies (as if a clean house will mean an ordered and calm mind) and the purging of objects (some type of symbolic action acting as a metaphor for the dissatisfaction I would like to be ridding myself of). I have also been known to re-arrange furniture and start searching for new apartments online during these bouts of doubt and melancholy.

Rae in Puerto Rico - lovefromberlin.net

This time around, however, I was even beginning to toy with the idea of moving back home. Plagued with fears of self doubt, I was wondering if it made more sense to move home to try to build a career for myself. Because Berlin is a fantastic city, but there is no money here. People expect you to shoot a wedding for 400 euros and shop owners are still mistrustful of bloggers. Yes, Berlin is full of instagrammable cafes, but it’s also full of a million and one hurdles that I am facing all at once.

In the end however, I reasoned that moving back home just yet wouldn’t help me. Although certain things would move faster, and I might actually make more money, the rent prices would also be even higher in places like LA and New York City than here. My friends are here, as is the small business network that I am trying to grow. And so I hatched a fantastic plan, like any sane 20-something year old would do, to move house to an even bigger place, but still remain in Berlin. But before I explain why, let me backtrack a bit.

I have definitely made the plunge into the uncertain world of freelancing. And at the moment, I’m producing very little income and can only say how lucky I am to have understanding parents who are willing to help a girl chase her dreams. Now I am not quite sure what all of those self-made life coaches out there who only tell you about the shiny future you are going to have as your own boss devoid of a typical 9 to 5 have been smoking, because the road is full of shit tons of potholes, and enough twists and turns to make you perpetually carsick. I am sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but right now, I’m only one-sixth of the way in, and it’s pitch black in front of me.

Rae in Puerto Rico - lovefromberlin.net

That being said, placing so much time on my blog at the moment means that I haven’t done much work to build up my photo business. But I want to change this and devote at least two days of my week to my photography practice. But I also can’t jumpstart a business if I have to rent a studio each time to work with clients in a studio setting. I also cannot shell out hundreds to rent studio time for my own creative endeavors to grow my portfolio. It would simply mean I would be making zero profit. So I have hatched a plan and want to invest in a bigger flat with 3 rooms to turn one into a studio. This way I can work with clients in the comfort of a studio (a huge bonus in Berlin, since half the year is simply too cold, grey, and wet outside for outdoor portrait sessions) and also rent out the space to other photographers to earn some money. The studio space would also be really useful for LFB projects as well.

It’s a pretty insane idea, I know, but as hard as things are right now, and as stressed out as I am about making a career from blogging and photography, I do have this feeling inside of me that is telling me it’s going to all work out in the end. Now maybe that thing inside of me is madness, but I would also be mad not to try.

Rae in Puerto Rico - lovefromberlin.net

And so LFBers, that is my current plan. It’s a bit crazy, and finding a new flat that ticks all of my boxes is not going to be easy, but I am really hoping it will be worthwhile in the end. Part of me does want to move back home eventually but I do not think my time in Berlin is up yet. Besides, I got my Tarot cards read while at The Dreamcatcher, and was told I would be here for at least another few years. Now I am clearly not going to base my life decisions from one reading, and it would be downright daft to do so, but I feel something coming. And I hope my intuition is right.

photography by: Rae Tashman


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Rae Tilly

Rae the EIC of LFB and YEOJA Magazine. She is also a photographer and social media influencer.

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  • Tania Franco

    Rae that is a wonderful idea and a leap of faith. I really do believe you should follow your instinct, visualize what you want and I’m sure it come to life. Wish you the best of luck and sending good vibes your way. I completely understand where you’re coming from.

    xx,
    Tania
    http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com/

    • rae

      I really hope that it is true, that visualization and working hard will be enough! Thank you so much for the positive vibes!

  • Kim

    How exciting that you’ll be able to have an in-house studio! I feel you on the whole late 20s thing. I’ll be turning 30 later this year and feel the pressure up to my ears!

    • rae

      I think it will be pretty awesome if I am able to do it! And yes, I think we all feel like that at the end of your 20s!

  • Lovely outfit, You look great

    Nashia | MakeupandBeautyMayhem

    • rae

      Thanks, lady!

  • You look amazing I love the floral top so pretty

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Candice!

  • One of the most amazing things about your blog, Rae, is how honestly you will talk about the things other people might not. First off, it takes incredible courage to take a leap of faith and become your own boss. I wish I had the resources and the bravery. Second, I don’t know these self-made bosses, but I get the sense that a lot of them may also come from a place of privilege and luxury. Because, damn, do I wish I had the luxury to drop everything to “figure it all out” and still be peachy keen all the time. And you’re not alone in that fear of coming up on the 3-0 and “making something” of your life. I know of people in all different disciplines and walks of life. People will project an image of success, not their insecurity about “making something” of themselves that we all think about from time to time. Best of luck on your new venture. I hope it works out for the best. :)

    • Elizabeth Hisle

      Personally, I am guessing they come from privilege too. Not that it’s a bad thing – I would love to be in their shoes! But I did classical ballet and serious modern dance training all through school and I promise you a good many professional dancers come from a place of privilege, so I assume many other art fields are the same.

      • rae

        I do not think privilege is necessarily a bad thing – it’s all how you choose to use it – if you are able to appreciate and value that kind of position in life and really make something with it, it’s great. It’s less cool if you just have a lot of money from your parents and just sort of hang around, in my opinion, it’s not so great. I mean I wouldn’t do it myself but then again who am I to judge those who do? They are just lucky in the end. I for example feel very blessed to have parents that can help me – it just happens that I chose a field that does not pay well at the beginning, but I really hope to live from it eventually, and if things go like this for longer, I will definitely need to get a part-time job to help out.

        But yes, I assume that a lot of people in the arts do come from money as they are the ones who are able to afford the classes for these things when young and are able to pursue their dreams full-time as their parents can help pay for their life expenses while they chase their dreams.

        I think it is important to remember though, that it also takes a ton of hard work and those who succeed in dance or other arts who are rich are no less talented or less hard workers just because they have the money. No doubt, some of them do slide by via connections, but not all I am sure – or at least I hope!

        • Elizabeth Hisle

          I agree 100% and I definitely was not meaning that people who “make it” are not talented – they sure are! You don’t get to become a professional dancer (using this example because I am familiar with the field) JUST by having the money for classes, intensive camps, and apartments in big cities. You gotta have the talent! But yes, basically, we are all on the same page regarding good luck!

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Alyse, this really means so much to me. I try to be honest, because I am sure there are other people in the same situation who might benefit from what I write about or also who may be able to teach me something as well.

      I think that coming from a place of luxury definitely helps, and I know that I am very fortunate to have parents that can help me while I try to build a career for myself, but I still stress myself out all the time because ideally I wish I was entirely financially independent, but I hope that I will be getting there soon!

      And yes, I think that insecurity is often a really good sign that you are pushing yourself and trying to do something big. If you always do safe things, you never have that fear.

      Thanks so much!

  • An in-house studio! Incredible! Get it girl, I have every faith in you. I’m back in the freelance realms now and it’s tough but I wholeheartedly believe that it’s the right thing for me after trying all sorts. As for the moving home thing, heh. Doing that right now. I can’t see a viable or sustainable future in Hong Kong for what I eventually envision my life to be. Can’t wait to see where your next steps take you. PS. Making Berlin plans for the imminent future!

    • rae

      Thank you so much! I really hope it works out too – it is just going to take a lot of blood, sweat, and tears. What field are you freelancing in, Michelle? If you feel like it is right then it definitely is. And yes, I feel like so many in our generation have to move home in order to follow our dreams. It’s difficult, but so normal these days. If you could, would you have wanted to stay in Hong Kong?

      Thank you so much, and OMFG YES tell me when you were here and we will DEFINITELY meet up. xx

  • You’re so brave and that’s going to pay off for you. You can’t have success without taking risks.
    I wish you the best of luck!!

    XoXo Noma

    • rae

      Thank you so much! And that is so true!

  • megsiobhan

    This is such an honest and fantastic post Rae! And finding a place with a room that you can use as a studio? This sounds like a fantastic idea! That’s what I would love (and would probably get me doing ALL the portraits) if I lived somewhere bigger. Honestly, I’d love to make a career from my photography but I need to actually start building a decent portfolio instead of just doing self-portraits. Ooops.

    I wish you ALL the luck in the world!

    Meg | A Little Twist Of…

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Meg! It definitely is an exciting idea, but will take lots of work. Currently in the process of trying to find a new place! I wish you all the luck in the world with building up your portfolio!

  • The plan for the studio sounds amazing! :D

    franalibi.blogspot.co.uk

  • I had the exact same feeling yesterday evening! I’ve come to the realization that I’m nearing my thirties and I’m still no further in doing something I truly enjoy. My photography skills are stagnant, I have doubts about my writing and translation skills (despite it being my day job) and I just generally feel like I’ve missed the boat. I’m hoping things will change once we move, I also live in a country with grey-days-syndrome and I would just love to have more room to experiment with studio photography. All I can do is have faith that everything will turn out positive.

    I definitely think you have the right idea here. It’s not the easiest path, but I truly believe you’ve thought this true and will get there eventually. Good luck and keep believing in yourself!

    • rae

      It sounds like we are going though quite the same thing – down to gloomy weather too! I think it is important to remember that success is not a race, but it still makes it disheartening when you realize you are approaching 30! Still, I am sure that there are many other people who are even more stuck than we are, so we should be happy. I really hope that things work out for the best for you, and if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always shoot me a message – I am just an email away.

      thank you so much for your comment!

  • Lii L

    OMG, you just put my feelings into words! It is inspiring, though, to read someone else struggling with similar feelings. I am sure you will do great and the new flat with the studio does sound pretty amazing!! :)

    • rae

      I am glad you can relate and that reading this post was able to show you that you are not alone!

  • I think you made an extremely good point when you mentioned the media heavily focusing on insanely successful young’uns in their 20s and even teens. It’s funny because I’ve never had that realization before this post. It sounds like you’ve got a lot of aspirations on your plate as of now so I’m wishing you all the best, Rae!

    May | THE MAYDEN | bloglovin’

    • rae

      Thanks so much, May for your vote of confidence!

  • Can I just say as a 30 year old something, life gets so much better after your 20’s ;) It’s easy to get caught up with young entrepreneurs these days but age really is only a number. When we have hopes, dreams and passions – taking that leap of faith is all that matters. Yes there are struggles, like the one’s you’re experiencing but it will be so worth it. If things was easy, there’s no satisfaction in achieving them!

    I spent most of my 20’s fleeting from one office job to the next but I’ve just launched my own wedding videography business. I know it won’t be easy but it’s something I will truly love doing :) Like you said, you’ll be mad not to try!

    Best of luck Rae :)

    Hanh / hanhabelle

    • rae

      At the end of the day you are exactly right – it is just a number. And now that 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20 it’s like we have 20 years extra, haha! And yes, that leap of faith can be so scary, but I know it is for the best because even if things don’t work out exactly, I will at least know that I tried. And yes, the struggling does make the end result feel that much more satisfying for sure!

      And wow that sounds so exciting, I wish you nothing but the best of luck with it! Too bad you do not live closer, as we could join forces and do photography and videography together for weddings and events! Where are you currently based?

      Rae | Love from Berlin

      • You’ll be great, I know it :) Thank you Rae! Yes I was just telling my brother, so many videographer have a photographer partner, haha it seems like the perfect duo. I’m based in London :)

  • Let me just say that I can absolutely relate. The thirties aren’t brought up enough – AND self-induced pressure can often be crippling. However, I think you’re doing much much better than you think, love. It sounds like you actually do have things figured out! I wish you all the best with your freelancing and creative endeavors, Rae xx

    http://www.qustomquinns.com/blog

    • rae

      Thank you so much for your kind and inspiring words, Quinn! I think it’s time to take 30 by the balls and make it the best 10 years ever. I have a bit of time before I am there, but I will try not to look at it with dread!

  • You’re absolutely not mediocre in any way, and success is all relative anyway. I hope that your dream of setting up a studio in an apartment comes to pass, good luck Rae

    • rae

      Thank you so much Suze, for your kind words!

  • best wishes :) i know it can be tough not to feel pressured and to compare yourself to the rest of the world but there is a place for each and every one to shine in this world and I hope you will find yours <3 best wishes

    • rae

      Thanks so much for the well wishes and sweet words!

  • ah we’re in this together so much :( whenever i look around and see many younger people achieved success, it always gives me sense of dissatisfaction with my life. “where did all gone wrong?”

    nowadays to be successful in 30s means you started too late and it kinds of baffled me why there’s so little appreciation for people who put their life together in their 30s. it’s still an achievement and yes people walk in their own pace. lately society been highlighting those “young and successful” people too much, it makes me feel so unaccomplished. “the younger the better”, i’m okay with that but i’m also fine with starting and figuring it out late. thank you so much for speaking this out. it’s time to be okay in our own pace. you’re super inspiring. we’ll figure out anything somehow. good luck for us both!

    and i looovvveee your blue hair and lipstick sfm!!

    xx http://tanaditya.co.vu

    • rae

      I could not agree with you more. Most of us in the real world do come into our own in our 30s as we spend at least up until 21 in uni then our mid twenties getting masters degrees and the end part doing internships to be honest. Wishing you the best of luck as well in figuring things out.

  • Beautiful post! :) Kisses!!
    http://www.alasdeangel.net

  • Elizabeth Hisle

    Maybe this will make me look like a selfish, jealous person, but I actually avoid looking at incredibly young success stories. Don’t get me wrong – I am happy for people who work their life out the way that they want! At the same time, I don’t need a reminder that I could/should be doing something “better” with my life. As long as I am doing the best I can, it’s enough. I’m hoping since my husband is graduating, has already snagged a job in his field (!!!) that in a year or two I can spend more time on my personal creative endeavors. But for now, life is good enough. We do our best, and I’m sure you do too. Life is not a race.

    Side note: 400 euros for a wedding is absolute bullshit.

    aroseisinbloom.blogspot.com

    • rae

      I really hope that you are able to spend more time on your creative endeavors too! That sounds very exciting. And I can totally understand actively avoiding following too many success stories of young people. To be honest, a lot of the young people that do get ahead also come from a lot of money and know a lot of people. It’s not a bad thing, but definitely unrealistic to think that just any one can do it. Yes, there are those stories too, but even then it’s not just talent, it’s a lot of luck, timing, and meeting the right people. Oh and yeah I know, it’s an absolute joke and pretty insulting if you ask me. Or you will get the people that say, oh my friend has a dSLR – like that’s like telling an artist your friend has a paintbrush or a writer that your friend has a pen.

  • I totally understand. I just turned 30 last year and I continue to have these moments where I doubt myself and have to try to refigure my life plan. I don’t think I’ll ever get to where I want to be but it’s the journey that is half the fun!

    http://www.prettyinleather.net

    • rae

      You are so right, the journey really is half the fun!

  • Read this post last night in bed on my phone and had to come back today on my laptop to write a proper comment ;D I’m pretty much in the same place as you and had my freak out, throw things around the apartment type rage more than my boyfriend would like to admit, but once I calm down I realize, well, what else is there to do but move forward? Chug along, look for opportunities where I can and when I can, and don’t let the world shove you into a corner. (Oh, I might be moving to the East Coast if something works out ;D)

    I think your studio idea is fantastic, there’s gotta be others out there who needs to space to work especially if the weather out there in Berlin is as bad as you mentioned. I was also lucky enough to have parents who supported my dreams too (asian parents sending their child to fashion school? freak out!) and we’re the type of people who don’t go around wasting funds. I know you’ll be fine, and if you do end up moving back to the States, hey girl that’s not a bad thing, it’s always fertile grounds for creatives back here!

    xo, a l i c e / T Y P E N U

    • rae

      Thank you so much for your comment, Alice! I am so glad to have met you and seeing that we are both in the same boat, we can definitely work to try to support each other too :) I think that at the end of the day, we need to remind ourselves that we are being brave and really going for something and doing that kind of thing always comes with it’s ups and downs. Nothing worth it was ever easy, right? p.s. saw your message on skype – i am out of town but when I am back let’s have another skype date! <3

      • You jetsetter you! Yes for sure~ Just let me know when! Yea..this entrepreneur / self employed stuff especially in the creative sector is like stepping off into a giant void; just darkness in front of you ESPECIALLY with no capital. Building something from the ground up definitely takes time huh. Oh well, we girl bosses, I’ll support you in any way I can!

  • I know it’s kind of crazy that I say I understand you bc I’m 18 but there are days when I’m like “omg I feel like people younger than me had accomplish more and I want to be successful and bla bla” And without realizing I’m panic so bad. But I think your idea of having an studio and buying that flat because I’m sure it’s going to be such a good new thing in your life. I hope you purchase it! :)

    http://www.blossomikebana.com

    • rae

      I think that whatever age you are it is so easy to panic and start to worry about your level of success, so I can completely understand you! And thanks so much, I really hope it will work out like I hope!

  • Sometimes you have to go with your gut instinct, so if that’s what you feel is right for you, then go for it, gal!! I think these reality shows get many of us anxious, but the truth is there is more than what meets the eye. I wish you the best of luck with your endeavours and will always be a supportive reader xx

    Pop over to my blog :)

    Sarah

    sarahinks.co.uk

    • rae

      This is so true! Thank you so much for your kind words!

  • Rae that sounds amazing! All the best with it, definitely take us on your journey! I’ve noticed successful people getting younger and younger too.. i guess it’s all part of the don’t-compare-yourself-to-others but it’s really hard not to.

    • rae

      Thank you so much! And yeah it is pretty insane, but then again, the majority of us just do not live like that, especially when it is expect of you to go to a normal college, get a masters, and do a boatload of internships, it’s impossible to be a prodigy with that kind of life set up.

  • sileas

    The big 3-0 is nothing to worry about, I know what I’m talking about ;) The fact that you moved to another country and set up a business is already more than most people would experience in their whole lifes! I have a lot of respect for such ambitiousness! Take a moment to look back and be proud of yourself and keep living your dream…

    sweetescapes.net

    • rae

      Thank you so much for the kind words and positivity!

  • KNC

    This definitely hit home for me. I’m some one who looks at new apartments whenever I start to feel down and then I get to point where I consider flipping tables and breaking walls. It’s rough. But clearly you’re doing something great =] Life clearly has something exciting set up for you! Good luck with a new place and focusing more on your photography!

    http://yourownqueen.blogspot.com

    • rae

      I am glad to know I am not the only one who does that! I actually would be willing to bet that a lot of people do that when they get restless. Thanks so much for your vote of confidence as well!

  • The Beaute Blend

    Sounds like a great plan & can’t wait to see how it unfolds for you! I love reading your blog…you’re so talented!

    • rae

      Thanks so much, lady!

  • next time you are stressed and can’t sleep I recommend boiling some water and throwing in some dried rosemary (not too much, just a pinch) and letting it steap, relaxes you and you fall asleep peacefully. i used to drink this before exams started and i would stress over my workload. add some honey if you want too =o)

    i am excited to see you continue your blog and photography, i love reading your blog and am so happy i stumbled upon it, wishing you the best in your apartment search =o)

    http://dreamofadventures.blogspot.com/

    • rae

      Ohhh that sounds like a good idea, thanks for the tip! And thanks so much for your vote of confidence as well!

  • You are anything but mediocre and I hope you always remember that, so talented and so innovative! Good luck with the flat hunting and pursuing your plan, I have so much faith that it will all work out!

    Raashi
    raashiagarwal.blogspot.com.au

    • rae

      Aww thank you so much, Raashi for the kind words and well wishes!

  • I love your honesty and transparency, and can certainly relate to the feelings of doubt or frustration (especially in the creative field). I’m excited for your upcoming plans, an in-houe studio sounds fantastic!

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Kathryn for your positivity!

  • Ileana Druetta

    Good luck with this!!! You look super cute! I love your hair :)

    xoxo

    Novelstyle

  • I’d say just keep at it girl, and I hope you achieve everything you set out to do! I think you’re wonderful and it’ll all pay off! I love your photos, they’re always amazing!

    -Lily from With Love Lily Rose

    • rae

      Thanks so much, it’s what I plan to do!

  • I have read this several times, Rae, and I can relate so so much. I was looking for words that might help but I’m stuck right in the same space as you, so have none. But keep at it, I have every faith in you!

    • rae

      Oh no worries, I think it just helps to know that I am not alone – honestly, I think my feelings as a 28 year old are totally normal. So glad this post was able to resonate with you, Erin!

  • Dude, I feel this so much. I’m making crap all over here, trying to make things work. But I’m not going to stop, I ain’t jacking it in anytime soon, I just can’t go back to a regular job – it never suited me, for several reasons. This is ambitious, but that’s what it needs to be, no? Keep us updated.

    Buckets & Spades

    • rae

      I completely feel you – a 9-5 in an office is just not for me. We will make it work too, we have to right?

  • I think we all go through this in the pursuit of our goals. The best thing to do is not focus on the end result because it takes time to get to where we want. There are people who become successful at all ages and in my eyes all success should be praised. There are tons of people who are out there and aren’t doing what they love at all, so the fact that your actually putting in the work to make it happen deserves an applaud. Focus on the progress that you’re making everyday because it’s the small wins that lead up to the big one :). Hang in there you got this!

    Dominique
    Only The Brave Blog
    http://www.onlythebraveblog.com

    • rae

      Oh of course – the journey is half the battle and 99% of the fun anyway, but the ups do come with downs it’s normal, and it’s also okay. Thank you so much for your comment, positivity, and vote of confidence!

  • Everything you’re saying here is so familiar sounding! I think self-doubt is pretty much the pinnacle of life in your 20s. Frankly, I’d be worried if I met someone who DIDN’T feel that way at this age.
    One thing’s for sure though, Rae. Whenever I read your posts, I’m always inspired by your tenacity, bravery, and bold outlook on life. Even if it doesn’t always feel that way, it certainly shines through in your writing and your photos!
    No matter what happens, whether you end up back at home, or somewhere else in the world, I have no doubt you’ll look back at your time in Berlin and have no regrets about the time you spent there!
    Lots of love, xo
    Alex

    • rae

      Oh totally, the 20s is all about uncertainties and not being sure if what you are doing is incredibly smart or entirely stupid.
      Thank you so much for your kind words as well, it humbles me so much and makes me so happy that you feel that way about reading my posts!

  • I can relate to everything you said in this post. I am in doubt all the time, anxious about how will I make my life work out by doing what I love, which is also photography and art. I think you are very brave to stick with your dreams and I wish you all the best. This world isn’t a kind place for an artist but we have to make it work. I love your blog and your art and I hope to see a lot of it in the future.

    http://saranusagg.blogspot.si/

    • rae

      I think it is just the reality as an artist that a lot of the time spent trying to build a career is spent worrying and doubting. Thank you so much for your comment and it means the world to me that you love my blog and photography.

  • I’m loving this look, and the photos. It’s so wrong that the media focuses on just achievements in your twenties, especially for women, it doesn’t celebrate all the women over 30 and over 40 who are still doing/just starting to do awesome things with their lives.You have so much time to do things, I’m saying this but I know I’m going to have a crisis when I hit twenty because even at the age of 6 I didn’t want to get any older. You’re doing some super cool things, and you”ve inspired me so take that as something :)
    On another note your hair looks amaaze in this post <3

    The Quirky Queer

    • rae

      Actually, I think one of the biggest problems is that the world is still extremely sexist and women sort of disappear at 40 – obviously women 40 and above are still alive and kickin’ it, but no one is celebrating them. It’s like that Amy Schumer “Last Fuckable Day” video. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPpsI8mWKmg)

      Thank you so much for your kind words and it really means so much to me if i am able to inspire you!

  • All the best things come from “insane” ideas :) I think when you’re stuck, it’s always better to make a move, whether it takes you forward or takes you back, but until you make the move, you’ll never know and you’ll never grow. Good luck with your endeavor! -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

    • rae

      So true, Audrey! Thank you so much for your positive words!

  • I definitely find that getting productive (often by cleaning/tidying and throwing a bunch of stuff out) helps clear my mind and lift the blues when they hit me too. I know there are stories all over the place of super successful 20 year olds but success isn’t automatically measured by money or by fame (which I know you know already) so even though it’s easy to feel down as you head closer to 30 (I’m 27 and definitely have an irrational fear of the big 3-0) the overwhelming majority of people don’t have it together yet and don’t necessarily know what they’re doing for the rest of their lives, and even if they are doing really well with one particular thing like their career maybe they’ve never travelled overseas or have never fallen in love or don’t get along with their parents or whatever else.

    Everyone has different experiences and that’s what makes us all unique so even though everyone does it from time to time it’s always best to take things at your own pace and not compare yourself to others to measure your own success. Good luck with everything, and I hope you find an awesome 3 bedroom place, making your own studio is an awesome idea because not only will you not have to pay for studio time but it’ll be an extra source of income for you. Being a freelancer would be really scary and even though it’s hard most people don’t have the guts or the talent to do it in the first place so you’re already more successful than most when it comes to having guts and drive! xx

    jessica – littlehenrylee.com

  • Anaivilo Borsa

    It’s awesome that you are ambitious and have ideas! I get your doubts, I have them too and I am constatly trying to face reality and see what I can do to improve myself and my professional part of my life.

    Good luck with everything! :)

    http://thewonderfashion.blogspot.com

  • As a 33 y o that´s trying to “make it”, I find it stupid that today´s society puts all the pressure on 20somethings that should have a career already and all figured out. Life doesn´t work that way! You do you and whatever feels organic and logic to you, is worth a try!

  • Great style! I love this outfit on you :)

    Your daily inspiration and motivation on http://www.letucc.com