anatomy of an outfit 005

10.4.14

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Recently, I wrote about the unlikely circumstances that culminated in my arrival and, ultimately, long-term residence in Berlin. Also on that list of "things I never thought would happen" would be my fluency in the German language. I went through the better half of my life only speaking my native tongue (English) and had about as much interest learning other languages and grammar as I did stabbing myself repeatedly in the eye with an ice pick (because what real other usage is there for an icepick than inflicting pain? Am I right, or am I right, Catherine Tramell?) - which is to say zero. This is surprisingly funny, because my life was always closely connected to foreign languages.

Like most Americans in the public school system, my academic relationship with languages began in the 8th grade and continued into the 12th. This relationship was pretty one-sided, with Spanish and Latin calling me up all the time, pretending to want to hang out and shit when really all they wanted to do was conjugate and translate words for hours. Needless to say, I graduated high school barely understanding the concept of direct and indirect objects.

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My personal relationship with languages began much earlier. I was adopted from South Korea at 4 months old and shipped halfway across the world to a small southern town called Chantilly. There, I made my way into my new home. I was too young to have had learnt any Korean, so my mother tongue ended up being English. My adoptive parents, new york transplants, happened to be Jewish, so I grew up learning Hebrew. It's all a lot less impressive than it sounds, as I only learned how to phonetically read in order to recite religious prayers. To be honest, I wasn't exactly good at the language. This probably had a lot to do with the fact that learning prayers for Wednesday evening and Sunday morning religious school was the last thing I really wanted to do as a kid. Still, I credit my early exposure to a foreign language with helping me establish an understanding for languages as an adult. Because, in the end, I actually turned out to be pretty damned good at languages. The missing ingredient had just been the whole bit about actually being, you know, interested in languages.

This interest was finally sparked in university, when I decided to take Korean. My reasons were purely personal and not at all academic. It was a link to my lost heritage, a way to get closer to the culture of my homeland. (I had actually begun to learn Korean in high school at one of the local Korean churches in my hometown, but it was tailored for Korean Americans who already had a basic grasp of the language from growing up with it.) I didn't all of a sudden grow to love grammar, and I still did most of my studying last minute, but the language seemed to make logical sense to me. Unfortunately, as the class was independent study and only met once a week, there wasn't any real way for me to progress to any true level of fluency.

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I don't exactly remember what happened, but I think I had to focus on other areas of study and learning Korean just sort of fell in rank of urgency. Knowing how to recite the time in Korean wasn't going to get my ass a degree - taking and passing classes in my major would. Fast forward to my decision to come to Germany, and my true love for languages was finally realized as I busted my butt to learn basic German over the summer before moving to Berlin. I can now speak German fluently, and although it did take a lot of hard work and commitment, I also feel as though the language just made sense to me. It wasn't all that difficult to learn. My grammar is still not perfect, as I learnt the bulk of my more complex German here in Berlin through usage and not in a classroom, but just the ability to communicate in another language without having to translate first is one of the most amazing gosh-darn feelings in the world. I can't even imagine a non bi-lingual life.

I have also not forgotten my goal of learning Korean, which has again become a focus for me not only now that I have "finished" learning German and have the mental space to take on another language but also because I plan to return to Korea in the near future. I didn't really have the time for more school, what with work and all, so I began trying to learn a bit from the Korean woman, whom I babysit for. She is the sweetest woman ever, but trying to learn a language from someone with no prior experience in teaching languages never really works out. As luck would have it, however, the language gods took pity on my struggle and granted me the gift of at-home learning; About a month ago, I was given the opportunity to use Rosetta Stone's online course, TOTALe.

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Now before you get all mad and feel all betrayed and shit because this post has ended up including a sponsored item, I want you guys to know that I spend the majority of the time turning down most sponsored offers. I just do not have it in me to accept shittons of free things I would have never normally bought or frankly do not like. At the same time, the job of a blogger is a labor and time intensive one, and if a company would like to offer a product that I actually can see myself buying and using and if I also think a review could be beneficial to you guys, I think there is nothing wrong with doing so while still retaining my integrity. But more on that in a future post. Now that I got that out of the way, I am here to say that although I just started using TOTALe for Korean, my honest opinion is that it is a pretty damned good learning tool, especially for those who are out of university and do not have the time to sign up for night classes, but still want to tackle a foreign language. You can learn at your own pace and even repeat lessons, should you have to take any long hiatuses away from the computer. That being said, having to attend a regular class would increase your chances of consistent learning, but this is definitely a nice option for us busy bees. At $299 for twelve months, this baby is not cheap. Still, when I consider the hundreds I dropped for a month-long course at Goethe Institut for German, $299 is quite the bargain.

I confess that I have only had time to complete lesson two, and having already learnt the alphabet previously, I have a bit of a leg up on the game - but the way rosetta stone works is extremely logical and intuitive and doesn't even feel all that much like learning. New words are learned by association and process of elimination. TOTALe also reads aloud all of the phrases and words introduced in each lesson, which helps guarantee that you aren't going to completely fuck up the pronunciation, because who wants to be completely fluent in a foreign language if no one can understand a damned word coming out of your mouth? Sure, you could buy a workbook and try to learn, say Icelandic all on your own, but take my word for it - if you can't simply move to iceland and start engaging with locals straight away, do the next best thing - sign up for a course or be lazy like me and do it in your pijamas from the comfort of your bed.

lg, Rae
instagram: lovefromberlin
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photography & post-production: dean sponsored by: rosetta stone, TOTALe

DIY 003 Spring

25.3.14



Spring DIYs

SPRING DETOX SMOOTHIE.| EGG PLANTERS.| PALLET DAYBED.|
SWEET ORANGE LAVENDER SCRUB. LACE BRA.| PRINTABLE EASTER EGG SEWING CARDS.|

So, I spoke too soon, because there hasn't been much sun to speak of for the last week or so. My iphone has kindly informed me however, that the sun is returning, with Sunday seeing a high of 20 C. So it appears as though this spell of ugly weather is only a slight hiccup. Hell yes. To further commemorate the coming of spirng, here are 6 spring-themed DIYs to recreate yourself. (Or you could just do what I generally do, which is to bookmark them away in my "diy" folder, which should really be labeld as "things-i-think-are-completley-amazing-but-never-actaully-have-any-intentions-of-doing-because-i-am-lazy." Still, these kind of white lies we tell ourselves are keep us motivated in their own weird ways. That, and the latter is just too damned log of a name for anything.)

lg, Rae
instagram: lovefromberlin
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anatomy of an outfit 004

10.3.14



I have never been a fan of climate change, but I would be lying if I told you that the premature spring we are experiencing in Berlin isn't fucking awesome. Because, let's face it. It is. This time last year comparatively, went something like this:

10:00 AM - beautiful blue skies, sun shining.
Me: Well Berlin, it looks like today is going to be a beautiful day.
12:00 PM - clouds blanketing the sky, doom and gloom for miles.
Me: ...Nope. Nope. Nevermind. Silly me. How could I have possibly fallen for that one again?
Berlin:   /flounce
Me: Die.

Every. Damned. Day

Which reminds me of something else. I have been living in Berlin for nearly five years now. It's pretty mind blowing to think that the majority of my "adult life" has been spent overseas. If you would have told 18 year old me that one day I would be living here, 6 timezones away from everything familiar, with a flat in the former GDR speaking fluent German, I would not have believed you. When I envisioned my adult life, although I wasn't 100% sure where life would take me, I was relatively sure I would be living out the remainder of my life and ultimately die in the good ole' U S of A. I was never the stereotypical American, overly patriotic, with the notion that I was raised in the best nation on earth. Then again, I never was a stereotypical American. I bring this up because bleeding red white and blue can be a reason for having zero desire to travel outside of the States for little more than a 7 to 10 day holiday. Still, although I had always been quite interested in learning about different cultures, hoped to be a photojournalist travelling the world one day, and visit my birth country Korea again, it somehow never really dawned on me that the best way to learn about different cultures, and ultimately, yourself in the process, would be to uproot myself and live somewhere new for an extended period of time.




I did hop a plane to Bath, England to study abroad my junior year of college. But the decision to do so was spurred on by my current college boyfriend at the time, who had made plans to study abroad in Japan, not due to any particular desire on my part to live in a foreign country. Perhaps it was because I was young and stupid, but I thought that if I had to be so far away from my boyfriend, I might as well do it in a foreign country as well. It was a big mistake, because I just haphazardly picked a country that had no foreign language requirement (I only spoke English at the time) and I have learned that the prime motivation for doing anything needs to be yourself. The experience was less than savory. I was extremely miserable and the constant time difference, as well as a multitude of other problems, meant that my boyfriend at the time and myself were perpetually fighting. I was also part of a foreign exchange program and not at a proper university, which meant I was still surrounded by other Americans who I unfortunately did not click with. I was in a wretched state of mind as well and endured 4 months of hell, alone, lonely, and miserable. When I finally returned to the States, I was more than ecstatic to resume my normal life.





The pre-story of how Germany and I got together and started a full-blown relationship began a few months later when I opted to stay at college over the summer to take care of some credits. I ended up signing up for a course about Joschka Fischer. I didn't know anything about the green party politician, let alone the 1960s student movement in Germany, which he was a part of, but was required to take a class at the 300 level for my major and signed up. I was previously set on writing my thesis on a subject pertaining to american history, but fell in love with the post-war period in Germany and the concept of "Vergangenheitsbewältigung," or "coming to terms with the past." My direction changed, and I continued to take history courses about Germany and ultimately wrote my thesis on German post-war film. With senior year rolling towards a close, I began to think about where I would be heading next and wrote an email to the professor of the Joschka Fischer course. He offered me an internship in Berlin, and I accepted. A few months later, I arrived in Germany. And I have been here ever since.




Throughout these almost 5 years I have made new friends, lost some old, started a relationship after ending another, worked as an English teacher, had my first real break up & cried a shit ton, learned what it really meant to be painfully alone, grew a stronger backbone, partied until 10 AM, woke up with deadly Sunday hangovers, had some one night stands, dated, threw up in the u-bahn station, tried some illegal things, got a masters in German, began a new relationship, resumed my goals of becoming an artist of some sort, came to terms with my negative qualities, began to be proud of my positive ones, and learned that growing up is a terrifying and inevitable processes that often leaves one feeling pessimistic, alone, wonderful, terrible, and alive ... all at once. And all you really can do, is keep on going.


lg, Rae
instagram: lovefromberlin
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photography & post-production: dean

viscual stimulation 014: the "perfect cafe"

4.3.14



When I first moved to Europe, I was extremely pleased with the cafe situation here. In America, unless you are living in a city or college town you are left with three options: Starbucks, Caribu Coffee, or Panera bread. These three are still better than nothing, but you definitely sacrifice a certain level of character (and in some circumstances, I would even argue, quality) as a coffeehouse chain. Europe is full of small, privately owned cafes where you can sit for hours. And guess what? No one will be side eyeing you as you sit there, empty coffee in front of you, still reading whatever it is that you may currently be reading. No one will be breathing down your neck, coffee in hand, making you feeling like the apparent greedy and impolite human you are, as you take up precious customer space. Cafe culture originated in Europe afterall, my dear friend.

In Europe, a coffee shop is a place to meet friends or colleagues, converse, or just watch city life pass by outside the window. Conversely, coffee shops in the States have always been linked to doing work for me. This idea likely stems from the fact that my college town was home to a particular cafe famous for being a student hang out. When I first moved to Berlin, pulling out your laptop anywhere else but in a particular cafe in Mitte famous for the overwhelming percentage of Mac Users (sankt oberholz) was seen as extremely weird. But this is all slowly changing, which is great news for me as a freelancer.

Over time though, my standards have either grown more difficult to meet, or I have realized that even my favorite cafes sort of fall short. I came to this realization a few months ago, as my boyfriend and I were talking about where to do our work that afternoon. Bateau, which is situated on the corner where Oranienstraße and Mariannenstraße intersect, has a great vibe and decent food options, but without internet access, it was virtually pointless for me to be there. Down the corner from Bateau is Kiezeklein which does have wireless, but is teeny tiny, and doesn't have the widest selection of food. Goodies has been the standard near me, but the food, although delicious and vegan, is on the pricer side. They also crank the heat up too high in winter to the point where after an hour we both start falling asleep. They have some outdoor seating, but nothing that is really ever in the sun. Silo, which recently opened in Fhain is somewhere I also like to frequent, but consists mainly of coffee, tea, and a few cakes, which isn't really ideal when planning to stay for a few hours doing work. It's minimal interior is gorgeous, but not particularly cozy.

It all boiled down to one thing. The ideal cafe just didn't freakin' exist. Which led me to question what exactly made up the perfect cafe for me. Below is a list I have drawn up in an attempt to answer this very question broken into three separate categories.


DESIGN ELEMENTS



ONE: UNIQUE DETAILS
They say, that the devil is in the details. And it's often the little things that set something apart from the rest. Cafe design is certainly no exception. Small touches not only add a unique factor to an aesthetically pleasing, well-designed café. It also creates a bit of a homemade feel, which I personally look for in my favorite cafes. Chalkboard walls are one example of a small detail that goes a long way. Perfect for writing down menus and specials, as well as allowing creative baristas to let their artistic juices flow and create temporary works of art, they work really well in cafes as both a visual and practical element. The use of clipboards is also a small visual element that is both functional and visual. They are perfect for pinning up menus and enhancing that industrial workspace feel. Other small artistic details, like well-designed coffee cups and bags of coffee with cute illustrations also receive my seal of approval.




TWO: INTERESTING LIGHTING
Number two is basically the sister of number one, as it has everything to do with taking a well-designed café and making it that much better. Imagine each of these four cafés without their current lighting set up. Boring, right? Lighting is also all about creating a sense of ambience, which is why i am a sucker for these aptly named "café lights" in the picture on the upper right hand as well as the variant of this style in the image in the lower righthand corner. An array of hanging mixed lamps (top lefthand corner) look great too and feel unified without feeling too uniform. Placing hanging lighting fixtures in crates work really well too, like in the image on the bottom lefthand corner, because it creates a sense of balance and uniformity by mimicking the seating below. Additionally, it makes a very modern and sparsely-designed cafe still feel warm and inviting.




THREE: INDUSTRIAL MEETS SHABBY CHIC
When it comes to interior design and architecture, I am a huge fan of the industrial-meets-shabbychic style. So it should come as no surprise that I would favor these design elements in my favorite coffee shops as well. I love exposed concrete, distressed brick, white tile, and natural wood. Think: an old southern barn meets an old industrial warehouse. It's even better when an interior space is able to incorporate all of these elements together. Exposed beams and pipes are also a favorite of mine. When these elements are mixed with interesting lighting and unique details, it's just the holy trinity of design.




FOUR: BIG WINDOWS, NICE VIEW
In addition to outdoor seating, a coffee shop wins major brownie points with me when they have large windows and a beautiful view to match, because sometimes there is nothing better than just sitting by the window, coffee in hand, watching the people pass on by-especially on those summer days that are just a bit too unbearably hot for sitting outside. Conversely, I love being inside a warm cafe during winter, with the large panes of window glass frosted over. It's just really romantic and also makes me feel that much cozier.


SEATING & SERVICES



FIVE: OUTDOOR SEATING
There is nothing better than drinking a latte outside during summertime with a nice breeze blowing by and the sun beaming down on you, forcing you to squint or shade your eyes as you converse with the person next to you or read. This is something that the boyfriend and I are always trying to find: An awesome café that is just as awesome outside as it is inside. Because who wants to be indoors on a beautiful day? Extra points if some of that seating is conveniently located in the shade.


SIX: COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF OUTLETS
Nothing is worse than coming to a café, pumped and ready to work, and then realizing that you have 9% battery and there are no outlets in sight. It just might almost be worse than being in the dessert with 2 sips water in your water bottle and realizing there are no watering holes in sight. So nothing makes me happier, than cafés that generously lay power strips all over the floor (thank you St. Oberholz) for their adoring costumers and their mac books. Hey, it might be some sort of electrical hazard, but at least you'll be able to update your facebook status about a fire in said café in real time, should a fire happen to break out.




SEVEN: NOT TOO BIG, NOT TOO SMALL
Whoever told you size doesn't matter way lying. It does. Just kidding... Sort of. In all seriousness though, a café that is too small is a café that I am not likely going to go out of my way to go to, because the likelihood of it being entirely full is very great and therefore often not worth the time. From a design perspective as well, having a nice airy feel is often more desierable as well. But a cafe that is too big just feels cold. It's an extremely difficult balance to strike, but a cafe which is divided into separate rooms or floors can help a cafe feel intimate but not cramped. This also solves the problem of dividing a cafe into a space for both work and conversation, which brings me to...


EIGHT: DIVISION OF SPACE: WIFI-FREE ZONE V. WORKZONE
Now I did state above in this very post how I appreciate the fact that pulling out a laptop in a café is no longer a seldom practice. This means I feel right at home when I get down to business, chai latte in hand. However, with cafes doubling as offices and smartphone usage common practice, the art of conversation is kiiiiinda dying. Granted, there are still plenty of people, including myself, who also meet socially in cafes. But even then, we compulsively check our phones to see if anyone has sent us a new text message or email. An internet- computer- cellphone- freezone would mean that a portion of the café would be devoted simply to human interaction. In the same token, I can say that it can be disturbing when I am trying to get work done, and the lovely people at the table behind me are talking loud enough to wake the dead. Now, there is such a thing as "too loud" and it's perfectly fine to kindly ask other patrons to use their lovely inside voices, especially when it interferes with other patrons and their conversations. But, “I am trying to get my work done you inconsiderate bastards!” is really not the appropriate thing to be yelling in a café. After all, it’s a public social space and not a library. But with cafés doubling as secondary work locations we all need some kind of compromise. Which is why I think the ideal café would not only have a section for conversation, but also a section for getting work done, which would certainly allow me to become one of the most bad ass mother effin freelancers out there.




NINE: BALANCE BETWEEN COMFORT AND FUNCTIONALITY
I can’t stand it when cafes have extremely uncomfortable seating. They place might look extremely stunning, with clean, modern design, but if my ass can’t bare to stay seated in your seating for more than an hour, you my friend, have failed me. At the same token, seeing as cafes are multi-purpose locations, which are utilized by people getting work done, a café full of comfy sofas don’t really make for the perfect work environment either. I also really loathe it when I have to balance a plate of hot soup precariously in my lap because there is no table seating available. But a bit of both, and I am a happy clam. The best cafe would have 4 seater tables, sofas, and communal seating. Which brings me to...




TEN: COMMUNAL SPACE
This was something I only recently began to see as desirable. I previously felt a bit uncomfortable sharing tables with strangers, but there is something kinda of nice about sitting together with other young professionals such as yourself, type-type-typing away on your macbook pros together in unison. It kind of turns a coffee shop into a shared workspace. One with free rent, that is.


SUSTENANCE



ELEVEN: good & healthy food
Since I tend to spend a good few hours in them, my favorite cafés also double as places to eat lunch, which is why I am not very likely to visit a café that only serves coffee, tea, and a meager assortment of sweets. For eats, I am a big fan of bagels, wraps, and smoothies, as well as carrot cake or banana bread for dessert. Extra points it it's all vegan.


So there you have it, the most important elements needed in order to create the perfect cafe (in my humble opinion, that is). But to be honest, although many of these elements could be incorporated into creating a more ideal coffee shop, some of these elements tend to compete with each other. Sometimes I do like being in a smaller cozier cafe, other times I love a bigger cafe with tons of workspace. And in any case, isn't it usually the hunt itself, that is more exciting? With the perfect café always just out of reach, finding new cafés that come close, feel that much more special. Cafés that might be lacking in one department, might make up for it and that much more in another. Plus finding the perfect café would nullify any reason to go to any other café, which would get pretty boring. So maybe, the real goal here is to find the "perfect café" for sitting outside in the sun, the "perfect café" for getting work done, and the "perfect café for socialising." And then to find each of there three kind in each neighborhood here in Berlin. I'm definitely still searching, but I will be sure to keep y'all posted on what I find.


lg, Rae
instagram: lovefromberlin
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all images taken from: pinterest

anatomy of an outfit 003

22.2.14



The last time I made a legitimate attempt at an outfit post was in march of last year which was just a little under a year ago. Why? I can assure you that it had nothing to do with laziness. The real reason I stopped posting outfits and then basically stopped posting all together had a lot to do with my increasingly tumultuous relationship with fashion, fashion blogging, and consumerism. There was a time when I was largely wide-eyed and innocent to the very things that I now find extremely questionable. I looked at fashion strictly as a form of self-expression - an extension of one's personal identity - as well as an art form. I disagreed with others who viewed fashion as nacissitisc and self indulgent. Where others saw an industry built on hierarchy, exclusionism, and blind consumerism, I respected and adored the creations of designers and marvelled in their creativity and ability to translate what they envisioned in their minds into items of clothing. Fashion was so misunderstood! And even those who scoffed at the world of fashion were not immune to it. After all, every social group had some type of "dress code" and even those who claimed to be above it all still considered how something would look on them before purchasing. We all have some measure of ego (which is completely okay!) not to mention the fact that we humans are extremely visual creatures. Even functionable things like chairs and placemats are designed to be visually attractive. I felt that no one put it better than good ole Miranda Priestly:

'This... stuff'? Oh. Okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select... I don't know... that lumpy blue sweater, for instance because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise. It's not lapis. It's actually cerulean. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent... wasn't it who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it, uh, filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room from a pile of stuff.

Miranda Priestly
However, I was also ignoring things I didn't want to think about. My frequent visits to a certain expensive department store in west berlin (kadewe, i'm lookin at you) were spent roaming from store to store lusting after designer bags, shoes, sunglasses, wallets, keychains, and jewelry and, to tell you the truth, I wanted to own it all. A large part of me wanted to wrap my arms around a mulberry and never let go because of it's purely aesthetic value as well as it's value as a functional piece of artwork. I wanted to have a little piece of the designers I loved in my own possession. But I was also ignoring the fact that, whether or not we want to admit it, a subtantial sense of exclusivity does belong to the fashion industry: exclusitivty in terms of limited edition pieces and waiting lists that never do seem to make it down to the masses, as well as the exclusive financial bracket one had to belong to in order to afford such things. True, there's always the option of turning off the electricity for 6 months and eating ramen non stop until your sodium intake causes you to swell up and explode in order to afford that miu miu dress (but at least you will look good while doing it!), and many people do just that. But, just based on the sheer nature of being extremely expensive, luxury items are largely unattainable for most people.



I was also ignoring the fact that I did feel the slight need to validate myself when shopping at such stores by wearing designer pieces in order to be taken seriously by sales people, which is a really warped idea. Meanwhile, outside of the store I felt uneasy, turning my bags to face inward, lest a designer log be seen. Five years ago in Berlin, fashion that was not cheap or vintagey was pretty much shunned (for the right and wrong reasons). I was almost embarrased to walk around with designer duds. It was a strange dichotomy. Good ole retail therapy was also to blame, as shiny new things seemed to make getting over a bad breakup more bareble. On a broader level though, I still loved self-expression through fashion and was blogging full force. I took outfit pictures relatively regularly and devoted a lot of time to my blog. It was around this time that my blog began to get more recognized and I was able to attend some events during fashion week. And this is when everything sort of fell the fuck apart. None of the parties I attended seemed to live up to what I had thought they would be like and in the process of networking like the best of them, I sort of lost sight in who I was. Simultaneously though, I was finding much of the scene utterly unattractive. So many people were more concerned with promoting themselves with the hopes of becoming famous or scoring lots of free merchandise than meeting like-minded people who wanted to talk about fashion. And with invite-only events, the feeling of exclusivity found their way to these events as well.

All of a sudden, the free Über taxi felt less like an exciting fairy tale and more like a declaration of status. I would be lying if I said that it was all bad. Not everyone was a jerk, and it would be completely wrong of me to condemn all of my fellow bloggers who enjoy events like these because they can be fun. They should be fun. They just shouldn't make people turn their nose up at others. And I began to see how easily people got swepped up into this kind of lifestyle. I love a good party just like the next person nor I am 100% immune to the allure of luxury. But I don't want to make others feel left out in the process. In addition to the social aspects which I found slightly troubling, was my actual consumption. I was very enthusiastic about researching fashion trends for the various seasons and learning about specific designers, which I still think is legitimate because it is dealing with the artistry behind fashion rather than the blind consumption. But in the process of discovering designers and trends, I wanted to incorporate those new pieces into my own wardrobe. I also felt that as a fashion blogger it was my job to keep my readers up to date with trends as well as blog about recent purchases. My life had begun to revolve around consumption.



My knee-jerk reaction was just to give the ole blog a fuck-you very much to fashion, and sort of retreat from the blogosphere entirely. And for a time, it felt good. But inevitably I began to miss blogging and the interaction with the blogging community. So about a month ago I began to dedicate my time trying to get reaquainted with my blog. At first, it was like awkwardly slow dancing at prom, but me and my blog slowly started getting to know each other better. I traded in fashion posts for text-heavy numbers. My readership had dropped drastically, as I was basically non-existent for the better half of a year. I didn't particularly mind though, because as I began to gain new readers, they were there because they were interested in what I had to say and not just looking at pictures of me in cute outfits. But then I thought, hey wait a minute, why can't i try to incorporate both?

I don't want to strictly be a fashion blogger, because I have other interests, and there are a lot of things I still haven't been able to reconcile about the fashion industry. I used to love watching shows like Fashion Police. Now I see how it is a parading of wealth and gives viewers the idea that luxury is the definition of the good life. But I also see how much passion the hosts have for fashion and how knowledable they are about the construction of garments and what particular parings are appropriate. But let's also bring this discussion back to the blogger level for jsut a second. Bloggers are not just there to post 20 some pictures of the same outfit and have their ego stroked. Just kidding! Some really are. But in all seriousness, blogging also takes a shit ton of time and dedication. Bloggers are also giving something to their readers, they are opening up about their lives and posting about it on the internet in order to give readers interesting content. Now I know bloggers aren't out there curing cancer, but they are offering a free and legal form of entertainment. Bloggers (as well as vloggers) can also be seen as a modern form of escapism from the more serious and pressing matters in our lives, which is probably why they are just do gosh darn popular to begin with. Lord knows I definitely watch my favorite youtubers back to back when I just wanna "feel pretty and girly." (Don't lie, you do it too.)



In terms of our own consumption, let's face it, none of us can be on a constant crusade for justice, running around in hand-sewn hemp sacks, eschewing all forms of wordly pleasures for the sake of the better good, with the exception of a very special few who remind us how pitifully human we are (like, say, oh I don't know, Ghandi, Mother Theresa or Nelson Mandela,) Besides as I have previously stated, I am a firm believer in taking care of oneself, and part of taking care of oneself is treating yourself to lovely things now and then. No one ever said owning a Prada bag in itself was sin incarnate. If you save up for that bag, kudos to you! You earned it! It's just a matter of not running wild with it, not turning a blind eye to the more questionable aspects of fashion and the consumption of fashion, and still being a socially and ethically conscience human being. Bottom line? Just don't be an asshole, okay?

What I guess I am getting at after talking your ear off for about 30 minutes is that nothing is ever really one sided, and fashion is certainly no exception. It's quite safe to say that I have a complicated love-hate relationship with it that I can't exactly end, but am not always happy being in. Sometime's I am yelling, "just give me some space, goddamnit!" and other times I am pleading with a pair of black boots to love me forever. I still haven't quite figured it out, but while I am still brooding over this serious first world problem, I guess I can find time to make an outfit post here and there.


lg, Rae
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