This blogpost is also available as a podcast! Take a listen and please let me know what you think!
Now you can listen to LFB’s longer posts while at work so you won’t get in trouble by your boss for reading my blogposts. For all future td;lr posts provided you guys like this idea), I will be posting audio versions as well.

Conscious Living is a series which takes a closer look at living a life full of thoughtful choices and conscious decision making in order to live a life full of meaning, self-love, and respect for ourselves and the world around us.

Rae in House of Small Wonder photographed by Sandro Mosco for

Conscious eating is a huge part of conscious living as it concerns not only the decisions we make about our own health and body, but the decisions we make about the environment, modern industries, and the treatment of animals. But what is a girl to do when her stomach doesn’t seem to care about her political views?

Since my stomach is apparently as sensitive as a 16 year old girl who just broke up with her first boyfriend for the first time in her life and wants nothing else to do than cry and go through shit tons of kleenexes while listening to Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” on repeat, I generally have to be careful about what I eat. I am also lactose intolerant, suffer from fructose malabsorption, and do not digest fried food, spicy foods, things that are too sweet, and things full of acid very well due to gastritis/acid reflux. In all honesty, it is super frustrating and these allergies have only become more intense with age. I’m just lucky I don’t have a gluten intolerance because then I really would not have any fucking clue what to eat.

Last year I suffered on an almost daily basis and became really disheartened. After going to the doctors and doing a bunch of tests – which included an endoscopy (it’s basically where they stick a camera down your throat to peek into your insides) while awake without any anesthesia because I am apparently just that hard core – and finding out what exactly my allergies and sensitivities were, I went through a process of re-learning how to eat. It’s not something that I have actually discussed on LFB before in any great detail, because it has been quite a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Emotional in the sense that I have had to adjust my preferred diet to meet the needs of my body and prevent myself from being trapped in this cycle of perpetual sickness and nausea.

Rae in House of Small Wonder photographed by Sandro Mosco for

As most of you who have been reading LFB for quite some time know, the recipes I post here and the meals that pop up on my instagram feed are vegan. Well, unfortunately this diet is not quite suited for someone with the food issues I have. Being allergic to lactose isn’t a huge deal, because as someone who had chosen to cut out animal products from her diet anyway, I wasn’t consuming any milk products. However, I then learned that having fructose malabsorption meant I would have to avoid most fruits and veg as well as the main sources of protein for vegans and vegetarians. Doctors (including my general practitioner who is a vegan herself) were basically telling me being a vegan was making things worse and it was clear I would need to make a change if I wanted to get better.

I have always been a person who lives by her convictions and have prided myself on practicing what I preach, so it was really difficult to be faced with this ethical and emotional dilemma. I scoured the internet trying to find people who had landed in this situation or situations similar. I did come across people who went from a completely plant-based diet to a diet made up of some animal products due to various health conditions, but the responses to these people’s stories were overwhelmingly negative.

Rae in House of Small Wonder photographed by Sandro Mosco for

Vegans who were lucky enough not to have any sensitivities or allergies were attacking those who did, shaming them and basically telling them that they were not trying hard enough or were just looking for an easy way out. And so there I was, already feeling shitty enough about the fact that I was thinking about re-introducing a small amount of animal-based food into my diet since I was not able to eat healthfully on an already limited diet, which I was only able to eat 30% of, reading about how the rest of the vegan community basically thought people like me were weak or looking for an excuse not to adhere to their perceived values. But then I got angry, because you know what? Fuck those self-righteous assholes.

I am a firm believer in living consciously and doing so means being mindful of all aspects of our lives. It’s about how we treat ourselves (both inside and out), treat others (both human or not) and the world around us. We need to be mindful of our choices and understand why we make them instead of just living on autopilot, never pausing to reflect why we do what we do. Eating is no different. In addition to the negative impact that animal products and factory farming have on the environment, I don’t feel comfortable putting things into my body that might not be good for me and I don’t like supporting industries that run on cruelty and destroying our planet. For me, living consciously, and by proxy, eating consciously meant eating a vegan diet. But I would NEVER impose my views on other people. We all have our own code of ethics which we live by and we all come from different circumstances.

Being vegan does mean opting out of certain industries that might be questionable, but it also means being wealthy enough and privileged enough to be able to do so. It also discounts any religious or cultural customs that surround food. Vegan options are becoming cheaper and cheaper and with a little planning and research, a vegan diet is possible for those who might not have as much money, but the time and planning involved is also a form of investment that some people just cannot make. Because time, after all, is a luxury. And as political as I consider myself, the fact that I can sit there and watch a 2-hour-long documentary about this and that, and read books and newspapers that politicize me further is a mark of my privilege – that privilege being my western upbringing and financial status. Eating exotic fruit out of season as opposed to local produce – vegan or not – is also an aspect that most people don’t seem to be talking about. There may be no cruelty involved in eating said exotic fruit itself but what about the impact of the industry behind it or it’s carbon footprint?

Rae in House of Small Wonder photographed by Sandro Mosco for

For this reason, I thought to myself: “Yeah, you know what? Screw those people.” (Why is it that people who are supposed to be open minded can be some of the most close minded and judgmental?!) Instead of focusing on what other people might think of me, what did I think about the dilemma I was faced with? Well I can tell you that for a good month after discovering my vegan diet was actually in many ways only making my problems (read: health) worse, I finally came to a conclusion I always knew. Blind dogmatism is plain silly, sacrificing my own health for the sake of a cause was dangerous, and an all-or-nothing mentality is ridiculously stupid and short-sided.

I have always said and believed that extremes are dangerous. The idea of 100% or not at all has never appealed to me. Let me tell you a little story: I had a friend back in college who wanted to go vegetarian, but was explaining how difficult it would be back home during the holidays due to her parents. They were very traditional Chinese and prepared traditional meals. Because of the culture, she was also basically obliged to accept these meals. I said to her, “Look, even if you keep vegetarian during the semester here on campus, you are making a difference.” It would be better to eat a vegetarian diet for the majority of the time rather than not at all.

I realized that although I was able to be accepting and understanding about other people, I was being just like those asshats in the vegan online forums judging myself for my stupid allergies, as if I had chosen to have them. I was also disregarding my goal to live life consciously, as I was ignoring my own well-being. The bottom line is this – you are of no use to anyone if you yourself are sick and miserable all the time. You should always try your hardest to live by the code of ethics you deem noble. But you should also not sacrifice yourself in the process. And you should also not beat yourself up about what you don’t have control over.

Conscious eating extends beyond the choices we make based on the causes we support to also encompass our OWN health. As of now, I have chosen to eat a diet that is made up of 90% plant-based sources and 10% animal products (fish). In an ideal world, my diet would consist of 100% plant-based sources, but for now I am doing what is best for my body while still trying to remain true to my convictions as much as I can.

Rae in House of Small Wonder photographed by Sandro Mosco for

To be honest, I have been nervous to share this story with you guys. I have actually avoided photographing my meals which included fish for the last month and a half because I was afraid of being judged for it. But you know what? I pride myself on being honest and outspoken and never want to compromise who I am for anyone else. So I owed it to myself and you guys to be honest about this subject as well. I am sure that there will be some people who will not see things the way I do. But I am sure that there will be others who will understand and who might even be wrestling with a similar situation. And who the hell knows? Maybe reading this will help someone who is currently feeling really judged by others. I am still working on figuring out what diet works best for me at this current stage in my life and hope that I can one day resume a completely vegan diet (the stomach is a weird things and sometimes allergies seem to come and go, or at least flair up and then calm down), but for now I am just doing the best I can while still remaining healthy.

Just remember, conscious living (and eating) is just as much about others as it is about you. Be mindful of your choices, know where things come from or what industries they support, but also take care of your own health and don’t ever feel bad about doing so.

Photography: Sandro Mosco
Editing: Rae Tashman

Don’t forget to check out the podcasts & sign up for LFB’s conscious living challenge.

Stay conscious, Rae


instagram | Twitter | work with LFB

Rae Tilly

Rae the EIC of LFB and YEOJA Magazine. She is also a photographer and social media influencer.


  • When I clicked on this link, I honestly did not expect a story like this, but thank God it wasn’t the stereotyped “eat healthy, eat vege” idea that was being rolled out. (Not that eating vege isn’t good, but that’s another tangent altogether.)

    I think being able to speak out about eating for the sake of your health (YOUR DAMN HEALTH, can’t believe there are people who judge you on that) as opposed to a cause is incredibly wonderful of you, and nervousness may seep in, but I’ll have you know that an inspired girl is sitting right here, writing this comment out.

    Your anecdote about the friend who was afraid of turning vegetarian because of how hard it will be to maintain it back at home really struck a chord with me, because being raised in a traditional Chinese family, I was taught to eat the most of savoury, scrumptious meal. Two years ago, I took a keen interest and developed a profound passion for Animal Rights and decided to make a drastic lifestyle change and turn vegetarian (I’m blessed to have no food allergies). It was pretty hard work to keep up the diet because, what with family gatherings and everything, I had relatives literally forcing meat down my throat. Apparently, calm expediting of idea does not work with carnivorous Chinese relatives.

    So I ended up meating some meat during the course of turning vegetarian and I felt so bad, but you know what? Your telling of how it’s better to have been vegetarian than not be at all.

    Loved this post, Rae, and I can’t wait for the next installment of the series!

    May | THE MAYDEN

    • rae

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, May! And you should definitely not feel bad. As long as we are doing the best we can, we should be celebrating our conscious choices because we care enough to try to do the right thing. At the end of the day culture is also important as is family and it makes no sense to inconvenience the entire family and traditions simply due to your own values in my humble opinion. Another option though, could be to bring your own meals to such events but I would never expect anyone to make their family members cook something especially for them. I think the point is to make wise and thoughtful decisions in the moment and to steer clear of being dogmatic.

    • rae

      Thank you

  • The Fashion Panda
  • Laura

    I’m so pleased someone’s written about this from such an honest perspective!

    Ethically, I would love to be able to eat a vegan diet, but like you I have health issues which prevent me from doing so. All of the protein sources vegans rely on, I can’t have, plus so many fruit & veg are off the list, and gluten for the most part! There’s no way I’d be able to be vegan without being either in severe pain & basically unable to leave my house, or sticking to my ‘allowed’ list and simply ending up malnourished. I have friends with Crohn’s disease who can’t digest plant material, and have ended up in hospital from salad, who’d love to eat fruit & veg but simply can’t. I have never, ever, had a conversation about this with vegans without someone saying ‘you’re just not trying hard enough’ or ‘clearly you’re not educated about your illness’ (?!?!), and I’ve even been told I’m ‘just looking an excuse to keep animal abuse in my life’. My friend with Crohn’s told a group of vegans that she’d die if she was forced to keep an all-plant diet, and they responded by laughing and calling her ‘ridiculous’.

    Then there’s the general refusal to have any kind of nuanced discussion about the effect of grain farming and the changes that would need to be made to make it properly sustainable (crop rotation etc), the exotic foodstuffs which are so fashionable for vegans (quinoa, for example, which is so in demand in the West that prices have risen high enough to prevent the farmers who rely on it as a staple from being able to feed themselves). Or, like you mentioned, the exotic fruit we have flown over into the UK, adding to environmental damage. Then there’s the issue of culture, and Western privilege – thank you so much for acknowledging these issues where most ignore them!

    It’s really refreshing to see someone taking a more nuanced and realistic approach to these things, instead of the out-and-out doctrine that ends up excluding people for so many reasons. :)

    • rae

      It makes me so happy that you enjoyed this post, Laura! I completely understand where you are coming from – it is very much the same for me. I can consume some of the vegan protein sources but not enough to stay healthy on a strict vegan diet. I am so sorry that you have personally encountered such close-mindedness when talking to some vegans – I don’t understand how some people can be so judgemental and unwilling to understand other peoples’ circumstances. And I agree as well – the discussion are sadly not nuanced at all. Glad to talk to someone else who understands that things are not always just black and white! Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, it really means a lot to me!

  • This is such a great post! Although I’m lucky enough not to have suffered from any health issues as a result of my vegetarianism I really think an article like this is going to help people who might find themselves in the same position as you and who google around looking for some advice.

    I’ve always maintained from the day I stopped eating meat over 3 years ago that if I wanted to eat a steak tomorrow then I would because I don’t have to justify what I do or don’t eat to anyone but myself. Mostly I find meat eaters picking at me about why I don’t eat meat (it’s because of factory farming) but I know the vegan community tends to be a lot more full on than vegetarians, for better or worse. I suppose for some people it helps them into their veganism and they enjoy having a community around them to talk to about it but there’s a reason that there’s the stereotype of the preachy vegan and it’s because some people are really dogmatic about it. You can easily be a vegan and not tell other people what to do with their lives but unfortunately not everyone gets that.

    Ultimately you shouldn’t be sacrificing your health and going against your doctor’s advice just because people might judge you or make you feel bad for it. How can anyone judge you for doing what’s best for your body? I think the points you raised about privilege are super important too – I mean vegans who are able to maintain a healthy lifestyle on a vegan diet are privileged to not have the health issues that you have and it’s plain wrong of them to accuse you/people of “taking the easy way out” when this has clearly been anything but an easy decision for you.

    If you do what you can to minimise the negative impact of your decisions in various areas of your life, including what you eat, then you’re living consciously and as you said, if you’re vegan most of the time then you’re doing as much as you can and that’s better than nothing at all. Anyone who criticises you for eating what your body needs is close-minded and needs to take a look in the mirror. xx

    jessica –

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Jessica! I am so glad that you enjoyed it! And I really do hope that this article resonates with some people in similar situations. I completely agree with everything that you have written here and it is so great to know that there are also understanding people out there like yourself who understand that things are not just black and white and that health issues are not equal to not caring.

  • To be honest I have not been conscious about eating correctly I eat so so bad and I really want to change that – thanks for a great post hun

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

    • rae

      Thanks, Candice!

  • I loved reading this! I agree with your opinion 100%. Live and let live. Everyone has the right to decide what kind of diet is the best for him and no one has the right to judge. I was a vegetarian for 6 years and now I eat meat every once in a while. My reasons for both lifestyle are completely personal and somehow a lot of people were under the impression that they have the right to judge both of them. I think that as long as you are healthy and happy no one should influence your eating habits. Great post!

    • rae

      So glad that you enjoyed this read, Sara! And I agree entirely with what you have said. At the end of the day, as long as we are trying to do our best within whichever parameters we have to do them due to allergies or other circumstances, we are doing the right thing.

  • Rae that podcast is amazing, and your voice is so soothing! I’ve had no problems with eating however I’m definitely going to become more conscious when eating x

    • rae

      So glad that you enjoyed the podcast, Hannah! And thank you :) Glad to hear that this post has made you think about your eating choices!

  • This was a really insightful read Rae! I’m not a vegetarian/vegan and can’t say that I’ve ever had trouble with intolerances (except for lactose). It sucks that you had to choose between your beliefs and your health, but it was the right choice and you shouldn’t be judged for it. It’s great that you posted this, for other people in a similar situation.

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Jane! And yes, it is unfortunate but at the end of the day our health comes first and as long as we try our best and remain mindful and do the things we can do then we should be pleased with ourselves :)

  • Elizabeth Hisle

    Ugh, I feel like this post was for me. I would love to be vegetarian but as someone finally starting to have a normal relationship with food, I really don’t want to jeopardize that with a chosen restricted diet. I don’t have allergies but I really feel like I could go back into old, mentally unhealthy ways if I were to start cutting out entire food groups. I’m not saying it will never be a possibility for me, but the time is not now and no one should take crap for that. As long as you’re doing the best you know you can do (and no one knows you better than yourself!) it’s good enough for now. Anyone thinking different can take their shitty attitude elsewhere. In the meantime, I’ll continue eat many vegetarian meals as I want, and if I really want a small piece of meat sometimes, I’ll do that too. I even find that when I go with what I want, I even eat less meat anyway. Naturally!

    At the end of the day, we all have to do what is healthy both physically and mentally for ourselves without having to apologize to ANYONE.

    • rae

      You bring up another really important issue when it comes to diet, one that I regrettably did not even touch upon or think of. This is another case where your health of course comes first and foremost. If restricting your food choices would be at the risk of falling into a dangerous relationship with food, then it is definitely something to avoid. Thank you so much for this comment and being so open about your own history with food.

  • vanessa
  • Milica

    I really like your blog.
    Would you like to follow each other?
    Follow me and let me know in the comments, so I can follow you back. :)

    • rae

      thanks Milica

  • Tash Collier

    This is so great :)


    • rae

      Thank you

  • What an inspirational and vulnerable post… I have no food allergies… so I can’t even imagine how you feel being so limited… well… there are some foods that upset my stomach more than others… but really… your diet is rather strict. Still, though, good for you!! And eating healthfully, like being vegan, is great… we are in charge of the food we put in our bodies, and it’s great to be mindful and in tune…and know what others are doing, too!!

    Loooooove your hair color! You look fab!

    All the Cute
    Latest Post: Comfy & Cozy For Fall

    • rae

      Thank you so much Amber!

  • This is a really inspiring post, I like how you’ve gone through such a journey with your diet. My diet has been an ever-evolving path as well with many ups and downs, I’ve tried different fads, diets, and recently also been inspired to turn vegetarian, then vegan, then eventually dropping out of it. I don’t think it is necessary to justify your actions to other people, as long as you are doing the best for yourself. When I believed in turning vegetarian back then, I did not preach/force others to adopt a similar lifestyle either, although I gave them my own personal reasons for doing so. Like I always believe, you can only start doing good in the world when you are 100% happy with yourself and your lifestyle, so it’s always important to do exactly what you feel is right for you.


    • rae

      So glad that you enjoyed this post Audrey! I agree, we are not here to justify ourselves to others. As long as we focus on being the best versions of ourselves, we should be allowed to be happy with our choices. And yes, it makes a lot more sense and is also a lot more productive to focus on ourselves and not worry about others.

  • Thank you for sharing your story with us <3

    • rae

      No worries!

  • Visa

    very inspiring! i need to start doing the same esp. concerning allergies and needing to stop eating dairy products.

    • rae

      Glad you enjoyed the post, Visa!

  • As always I love reading your blog because of it’s honesty. I agree with you that living in extremes is such a dangerous habit that too many of us engage in. You wont be of any use to anyone if you’re down and out due to your health problems so there is no reason to give any weight to the naysayers. We all hold ourselves accountable to certain ideals and sometimes we just need to give ourselves a break and adjust our lives to whatever it is that we need at that moment in time.


    • rae

      Thank you so much, Monika! This comment means so much to me and I really am glad that LFB’s honesty is something you love most about it. I really try to stay true to myself here. And I agree with everything you have written here!

  • It’s interesting how some vegans can be so negative towards people trying to transition. I’ve seen this happen to one of my favorite youtubers Weylie where she got bashed on for eating a burger during her transition. People just work in different paces and have different walks in their transition. A lot of people don’t get that and think if they can do it, anyone else can, which isn’t true. I wish people were more open minded, but I guess that’s part of the struggle of life.

    • rae

      While I do think that we are allowed to hold the people in our lives up to a general standard of conduct when it comes to how they treat us or if they are generally respectful people to others, at the same time we are no better than anyone else and therefore have no right to micromanage and dictate how people go about doing what they do, especially when their intentions are good and they are trying to do a good thing! Totally agree with you, Fionna and thank you for your comment!

  • nunzia sofia

    i love your hair!!! amazing pictures ;)

    If you want come to check it out my new post:

  • I love the honesty in this post. It was so nice to read about your journey, and I absolutely do not judge you (nor should anyone else) on your decisions. After all, it was basically necessary. Very insightful — keep it up! PS. These photos are gorgeous.



    Looks by Lau

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Christina, so glad you enjoyed this post.

  • Wow, I really liked your honesty in this post, and feel honored that you can share that! Luckily, I’ve had no problems with allergies or dieting, so I can’t imagine what you’re going through during this journey of finding out what you can and cannot eat and having it relate to strictly to your health. Because I had never really thought of this, it’s definitely a new and fresh perspective to look at when it comes to eating; thank you for sharing! xx

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Samantha, it really means a lot to me. So glad that it gave you a different perspective on eating!

  • idu

    Glad you decided to do what works for you cos you know your body best. This is worthy of emulation.

  • I think the food industry is really focused on influencing the customers nowadays. And I’m glad that there are people who refuse to support them in this. ;-)


    • rae

      The food industry is just that – an industry and it is unfortuantely very destructive and not concerned with the actual health of their customers :(

  • What a great post. I have a friend who had been a strict vegetarian since she was 12 and only in the last few years had to include some form of animal proteins in her diet because of certain health conditions. I think she ended up settling for seafood. It’s funny how life works out sometimes. I try to eat sustainably and ethically but these days it feels utterly impossible. We can try be good by purchasing organic fruits and vegetables but other things like condiments and sauces we can’t be 100% certain they contain it. Things like palm oil or caged hens for their eggs, it’s impossible to know for sure. And companies don’t feel compelled to disclose or take action either.


    • rae

      Thank you so much, Sxx! I think the most important thing is to try to do the best that you can do given your circumstances and it really sounds like you and your friend are!

  • I love listening to your podcast! also, so much respect for remaining true to your convictions but never imposing it on others – because yes, we’re all so different! :) great post Rae. x

    • rae

      Thank you so much Sharon! :)

  • Trang Do

    Amazing pictures!! Love your hair style!!
    Love from {a lifestyle, fashion, beauty, and food blog}

    • rae

      Thanks, Trang!

  • Gosh it’s super sad their is so much judgement over diet. I really try and avoid telling others what I eat because of that reason. Everyone has to make the best decision for themselves :) Also just a high-five in general for being a conscious person and I hope you’re able to start feeling a bit healthier too :)

    • rae

      I agree entirely! We really do have to make the best decisions for ourselves. Thanks, Fee!

  • Melissa

    This post really spoke to me. It’s challenging to live consciously in a world filled with, as you put it, “asshats”. Big ups for speaking out.

    M xx
    Come say hi: Lois Lennon

    • rae

      So glad you liked the post, Melissa!

  • I’m pretty new to your blog, but I really really love your honest opinions and thought-provoking posts!
    I’m a vegetarian myself and have been so for the past 25 years. I’m a lacto-ovo vegetarian and basically I just stopped eating meat and fish from one day to the next (because at one point I didn’t want to eat animals anymore). I do wear leather and when the occasion “forces” me to, I’ll take a meal with meat but remove the meat parts. So while I haven’t eaten meat for a quarter of a century (geez, I’m feeling so ancient now!), I’m very pragmatic about it. My husband isn’t a vegetarian, but he’s not a big meat eater – for which I’m grateful, because I never have to prepare meat stuff for him (I honestly wouldn’t know how!). However, I’ll occasionally buy him a microwave dinner that contains meat (quelle horreur for the orthodox vegans!). Thing is, being a vegetarian is MY choice and I would never impose it on others! I absolutely hate it when I see people do this, so reading about your experiences made my skin crawl. It’s not just the meat versus no-meat arguments, but also all those health nuts who try to coerce others into giving up dairy or gluten (without being allergic). Folks should just leave each other the fuck alone, but apparently it’s hard to respect one another without trying to shove an idea down one’s throat.
    Well-spoken, Rae, and your new found balance is definitely the best way to go in my opinion! Your health should indeed be your priority :-)

    • rae

      Hey there Izzy and thank you so much. I am so pleased that you enjoy LFB and i really hope you will come back often to see what is going on around here and I agree with everything that you have said here. Thank you so much.

  • You are stunning, and your blog is to die for! Great work sweetie xx

    Check out my blog <3 |


    • rae

      Thanks, Ana Sofia!

  • Good for you! It is true that sometimes those who appear or claim to be the most open minded are in fact the most judgemental. Health is precious and you deciding to incorporate some animal products in your diet to be healthier is an act of self-respect and self-love. Thanks for sharing your story and I look forward to reading more of these posts.

    Inma x

    • rae

      Agree, Inma! Thank you so much for your comment!

  • It is so so true that food is such a personal thing, but also such a universal and world-wide thing all at once! I was vegetarian for a long time when I lived on my own (actually because it made my stomach feel better and helped me be more conscious of my eating habits) and it made me feel good about my impact in the world as well. My way of going about it though has always been – if someone else makes me a meal, I am not going to insist they make it special for me, or refuse to eat it. I may just serve myself a really small portion of meat, and load up on veggies. And this works for me.

    Gotta do what you gotta do, for whatever your personal situation is, but so good to keep in mind what the situations outside of your own are as well. Fabulous post, as usual ;)

    • rae

      I was very similar when I kept vegan back in University for some time. When I was out with friends, I would never stop eating vegetarian, but would eat something that wasn’t vegan. My whole mindset is that principles are important, but I did not want to make everyone else have to put me first just because of my preferences, which basically are the same reasons as the choices you made when you went out to eat. I think life is all about keeping true to our values but also knowing when doing so overrides other values of ours in the process and modifying our choices based on this information!

  • I think it’s incredible that you are being honest with your readers about your meals. In a perfect world, we all could have great diets but the truth of the matter is, we can’t and have to take care of ourselves first. I’ve tried to get a healthier diet but money-wise and health reason, I can’t do it. And that’s okay. You shouldn’t force yourself to eat what people expect you to it. Just…do you. Haha <3

    xx Bash | Hey Bash | bloglovin’

    • rae

      I agree with you entirely, Bash! Thank you so much for your comment!

  • Becky Hughff

    This was a really fascinating read! You definitely shouldn’t feel bad for what you eat and your lifestyle! Everyone is different and your situation sounds particularly difficult, I wouldn’t have a clue what to eat!

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Becky! So glad that you enjoyed this read!

  • This was a really interesting read. I didn’t know there was so much negativity surrounding people’s eating choices. To me, it seems obvious that the most important thing is your health and that will mean something different for everyone. Maybe some people will think that’s selfish but I think it’s just plain common sense.

    Wonderful article!

    Sorcha x Bright Field Notes

    • rae

      So glad that you found this post interesting, Sorcha! Unfortunately, some people can be very judgemental when it comes to eating choices. And yes, I could not agree with you more – health always comes first!

  • I actually have a sensitive stomach too! It’s not like I can’t eat this and that but I have to eat only clean and cooled food. I can’t even eat sashimi or raw sushi. Lovely hair btw :)

  • I actually have a sensitive stomach too! It’s not like I can’t eat this and that but I have to eat only clean and cooled food. I can’t even eat sashimi or raw sushi. Lovely hair btw :)

    • rae

      Thanks, Gail, and I hope that your sensitivities do not make it too hard for you to eat – but from the sound of it, it does kind of force you to have to be very healthy!

  • I absolutely loved listening to your podcast and it’s interesting exploring that medium for blog posts; it makes it way easier to multi-task as well if I’m in the middle of working.

    I say, keep it up! And such a good listen. :)


    • rae

      Thank you so much, Jen! So glad you liked the podcast, and yes, that is exactly why I started to do it!

  • Adriana R.

    You are so gorgeous! Your blog is truly an inspiration, this is amazing <3

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Adriana! So glad you enjoy LFB!

  • I approve of this :) I have friends who are also into healthy eating and living and of course I am so happy that I am too. :)


    • rae

      Thank you so much, Jewel!

  • There is just so much to think about if you’re thinking about making such a commitment. I think you’re right, if this helps something or encourages, or indeed backs up someone’s beliefs then this post has work. Wonderfully written, and honest, as always.

    Buckets & Spades

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Matthew. Really touched that you enjoyed this read!

  • Brave lady!

    How has your body adjusted to having meat back in the system?

    While at Uni I was far more vegetarian than I am now, and I remember talking to a friend about it, she herself ate meat and fish, but she was mindful of where those products came from and tried to use local eggs, local and line caught fish, independent butchers who could tell her where and how the animal had been raised. It was pretty inspiring, especially as I was similar to you, in that I was eating out-of-season veg without thinking about the impact it had on the industry.

    I’m currently getting all our fruit and veg from the grocers round the corner, it’s so much cheaper than supermarket shopping, and I’m supporting local industries and that feels so good.

    You look so well in those photographs and I hope your stomach aligns with your views one day :)

    Erin | CD

    • rae

      Since I introduced fish slowly and am only eating fish I think I have been relatively lucky in that I have not felt majorly ill from starting up again. I think that your friend’s consciousness is awesome and even meat eaters have a responsibility to know where their food is coming from and to make responsible choices that are good for the environment. Awesome that you are eating locally. I hope I didn’t confuse you, because I always try to get my food from the local farmer’s market and buy local organic at the grocery store as much as possible :)

  • Natalie Da Silva

    wow thanks for sharing this story! I know alot of people will be able to share this expereince…and by the way I loveeee your style x

    • rae

      No worries, Natalie, and I hope so too!

  • Paulina

    Such a good read! Great job!


    • rae

      Thanks, Paulina!

  • What a relevant read. FINALLY someone stepped up and said it. I’ve never been a vegan/ a vegetarian (I simply cannot afford it), but I’ve come across some (not everyone) of them who’d just shove their lifestyle down people’s (my) throat. I think your concept of conscious eating is something we can all adopt. (Im thinking of making some changes too) Fantastic work <3

    BCfactor Blog

    • rae

      So glad that this post spoke to you and that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much.

  • Kudos to you for your honesty. I agree with the other comments who said that this is such an inspiring post. Conscious living is not just all about being vegan and what not…it also means being aware of what is good for you. I hear you about your stomach problems. I have acid reflux…what a pain!

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Emmy. And I agree entirely – conscious living definitely is also about doing what is good for you. So sorry you have acid reflux as well :( It is such a painful thing to have, trust me, I know!

  • Nadia Henderson

    This was a really insightful post. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a rough time health wise, and it sucks that you encountered judgement from people whose political outlooks are so similar to your own. As a regularly new vegan, I have found the community (online, mostly UK based) to be super encouraging and inclusive, and non judgemental. Being a non-meat eater carries a preconception of judgment by default and it is so disappointing when people in the community live up to that stereotype! I agree that extreme views of all types are not good…when I’m feeling my most politicised about animal cruelty and being vegan I worry that I’m no better than a religious nut. I do believe that living as consciously as possible is important and rewarding, but never when it is at the expense of you health.

    • rae

      Thank you Nadia, so glad to hear that this post was insightful for you! I am so glad that for you your experiences in the vegan community has been so inviting. There are definitely great vegans out there that are not judgemental at all, but sadly there are others that are quite nasty! It’s just a part of life though, as in any community there are kind and unkind people – it definitely has nothing to do specifically with the vegan community. And I think that being political is amazing, and sharing your mindset also is so go you! As long as you can do so respectfully while also accepting that everyone has to come to their own conclusions, you keep on doing you, girl!

  • Christina Härter

    Wirklich schöner Beitrag, in dem du offen über deine Empfindungen sprichst. Ich ernähre mich aus gesundheitlichen Gründen komplett Milch- und Weizenfrei. Für mich gab es noch nie Einschränkungen. Ich bin froh, wie viele alternative Lebensmittel ich kennen gelernt habe und in meine tägliche Ernährung einbauen konnte. Viele verstehen die Gründe nicht, reden ohne zu denken oder haben sich noch nie mit dem Thema Ernährung beschäftigt. Dabei sind viele von ihnen doch die, die sehr unbewusst und ungesund essen. Ich denke da an Weißbrot und andere ungesunde Dinge.
    Danke für deine ehrliche Meinung.
    Liebste Grüße und noch ein schönes Wochenende,
    Christina von

    • rae

      Vielen Dank, Christina! Und du hast Recht – es gibt viele Leute die nicht über Ernährung wissen oder nicht verstehen kann, dass andere Leute Einschränkungen wegen Allergien u.s.w. haben könnten oder wie do meinst, ernähren sie sich auch total ungesund!

  • I’m sorry to hear about your struggles but glad you’ve found something that’s working for you. This was a really lovely post and exactly the kind of thing I’ve been DYING to read for the longest time. I’ve recently become vegan, but long before being vegan I’ve been very political and a feminist and it’s been incredibly frustrating to see the levels of privilege involved in living consciously being largely ignored in many cruelty free and vegan communities. Even now that I’ve made the jump to veganism, this whole cry I’ve heard for years of ‘everyone can be vegan, it’s easy!’ that some people are adamant is true continues to drive me nuts. Some people simply aren’t able to do as much as others, whether that’s down to dietary requirements, health, finances, class, location or more, and it’s unfair to vilify non-vegans, non-vegetarians and so on for not doing ‘enough’. For some people, nothing will ever be enough; we just have to do what we can while making sure that we look after ourselves in the process.

    • rae

      Thank you so much, Steph! You have no idea how much your comment means to me! You are absolutely right – many people do not realize how much privilege plays a role in being able to successfully and easily get up on a high horse and look down on others. And then there are others who may or may not be privileged in the sense of skin color, wealth and or culture but those who seem to not understand allergies other stomach conditions that can really be very difficult to manage.

  • I think it’s so wonderful that you were brave enough to put this out there. You hear about it a lot, people criticizing other people’s diets, and it’s so silly. Diet is such a personal choice, and regardless of whether you agree with someone else’s choices or not, it’s their choice to make. I don’t know how anyone could be so cruelly critical, especially when someone has good intentions, but have limitations that they have to work within, like you mentioned: allerigies, not enough time/finances, etc. I hope you figure out what works best for your body + start feeling even better!!! ♥

    xx Alyssa — fragments of memories

    • rae

      Thank you so much Alyssa, I am so touched that you feel that way. I agree entirely – diet really is a personal decision and we should not dictate those decision for other people!

  • thefashionsalt

    I loved listening to the podcast and am sorry to hear about your food issues. I think it is great that you are taking care of your health while being honest and living consciously at the same time. That is more than I think a lot of people, like myself, do since I am usually on “auto pilot.” This is such a great post and I hope you find a diet that works well for you.

    • rae

      So glad you liked listening to the podcast, Lili! And thank you so much!

  • Very cute outfit :)
    Your hair is always so beautiful, I want it!

    • rae

      Thanks, Sammy!

  • I also had an endoscopy without anaesthesia (hi-5!) mostly because I like having control during procedures like these and my nursing experience has taught me alot! I have the same health problems as you aswell as gluten intolerance and it is SO hard! In the first 2 months, I had no idea what to eat and survived on salads!! Slowly I’ve introduced other things into my diet through trial and error, which cause me anxiety and palpitations even when thinking about them, because I didn’t know if I would have a reaction or not! Very strong of you to share this with your readers and it has given me confidence in myself :)

    Pop over to my blog!


    • rae

      oh wow, intense! That is exactly the same reason why I opted to do it without local anesthesia as that was a scarier though to me then being physically uncomfortable for a few minutes. So sorry that is has also been so difficult for you with foods! I think trial and error is really the only way to manage things.

  • I loved discussing this with you within my post about veganism, & I think what you wrote here explains your side well. People tend to group two different categories together when it comes to this issue: the people that say they can’t be vegan because they ‘love cheese so much’, & the people that have real health concerns like yourself & therefore have to consume animal products here & there. I think it’s so important to recognize that! As if it doesn’t suck for you that your body is compromising your values!!! It makes me laugh when I hear these ‘passionate vegans’ preaching their lifestyle – veganism essentially means understanding that we as humans are not above any other species on earth, not just that you eat lettuce instead of beef – yet they still tote around an iPhone & pretend that Apple factories aren’t surrounded by suicide nets… They’re not questioning their own lives & motives, but can take the time out of their day to question someone else’s. Intention & knowledge (as well as the willingness to continue learning & growing) are in my opinion not only a huge sign of intelligence & adaptability, but the most important ways to lead your life. Something will ALWAYS be better than nothing. There’s no point in trying to deny that! Try to not let it get to you <3

    Sofia |

    • rae

      Thank you so much Sofia, and you are so right. The argument “But cheese is so gooooood” is definitely a weak one and if that is the only reason someone cannot go vegan than it is clear that their love of cheese is more important as they do have the ability to choose to go vegan. But when you have health concerns it unfortunately is not really always possible to stay vegan. I agree with the contradictory lifestyle choices of some vegans as well – great point to make.

  • Your outfit is amazing ;) Your blog is inspiration for me ;)

    • rae

      Thanks so much!

  • love you baby

    • rae

      Thanks :)

  • Maria Luisa

    adoro il colore dei capelli … bellissimi

    • rae

      Thank you!

  • Hajdi Đukić

    Love your hair color! Lovely hat and dots dress! Beautiful photos as well :)

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Hajdi!

  • welovefur

    I’m in love with this post. You are beautiful beautiful beautiful!
    Like your style and your blog
    I hope you will like mine
    many kisses

    • rae

      Thanks so much!

  • Emma

    Amazing pictures ! Totally in love


    • rae

      Thanks so much, Emma!

  • Irreplaceable_fashion
  • Anastasia

    May I just say that having a podcast blog is AWESOME!!!!!!


    Anastasia from

    • rae

      Thanks so much, Anastasia! Really happy you enjoyed it!

  • sophie

    beautyyy <3