In early summer, I took a day trip with some friends of mine on the weekend to work on some portraiture. We set out with bags full of of shoes, dresses, hats and photo equipment and got to work. We shot quickly with fading light peaking in and out of the clouds, but it allowed me to capture a few different moods all in the span of an hour. Here are some of the shots I managed to get while the clouds parted and the sun was setting.
When I look at these shots from the summer, it reminds me of how much I love photography and want to still grow as a photographer. I am so happy to be doing a job that I love, but the downside of being good at what you do is that it leaves little time for the other things you want to pursue. Product design is something I am passionate about, and even though I sort of fell into it backwards less than a year ago I am proud to say that I am now the sole designer of a moderately sized start up. The downside has been that my photography has kind of taken a back seat. When you are employed full time and moonlight as a blogger it seems kind of difficult to fit it all in. I’m still fighting to somehow extend my hour to 80 minutes instead of 60.
Pursuing multiple dreams also means making other sacrifices where possible. While I do still make it a point to keep up my friendships and my relationship, I do see everyone considerably less frequently at the moment. I still make it a goal to stay in contact with friends through phone calls and texting multiple times a week and to see them in person at least every other week, but this is something that at the moment I am okay with.
I am at a point in my life where I have learned to really love my own company and love using my free time to dive head-first into all of my different creative endeavours.For the first time in my life I also have something that I can call a career. I feel like there is some sort of purpose to my life and a reason why I get up every day. Granted, it’s not as if my start up is working on finding a cure for a terminal illness or anything else so altruistic. Still, I feel excited to go to work each day and solve problems for a living, no matter how small.
Still, it seems as though there are never enough damned hours in the day and my window of “free time” is really freaking thin. I barely find the time to keep my flat clean and somehow always feel pangs of guilt when I am just watching a movie or enjoying the afternoon on the weekends. It’s hard to relax when you think “Oh I could be keeping up with my social media, preparing a new blog post, or learning more about photography and product design right now.”
Life is all about balance though, and I am still working towards finding that sweet spot between drive and ambition and acceptance and patience. Life is also always in flux though, and priorities shift themselves and rearrange. This particular chapter in my life though, has been about personal growth. It has been all about paving way towards the adult I want to be. Responsible, financially independent, a problem solver, a creator. As long as these new attributes are tempered with kindness, understanding, and a general thirst for knowledge and tolerance, I will never be ashamed of who I am or who I have yet to grow into.
Photography: Rae Tashman