In early summer, I took a day trip with some friends of mine on the weekend to work on some portraiture. We set out with bags full of of shoes, dresses, hats and photo equipment and got to work. We shot quickly with fading light peaking in and out of the clouds, but it allowed me to capture a few different moods all in the span of an hour. Here are some of the shots I managed to get while the clouds parted and the sun was setting.

marita

When I look at these shots from the summer, it reminds me of how much I love photography and want to still grow as a photographer. I am so happy to be doing a job that I love, but the downside of being good at what you do is that it leaves little time for the other things you want to pursue. Product design is something I am passionate about, and even though I sort of fell into it backwards less than a year ago I am proud to say that I am now the sole designer of a moderately sized start up. The downside has been that my photography has kind of taken a back seat. When you are employed full time and moonlight as a blogger it seems kind of difficult to fit it all in. I’m still fighting to somehow extend my hour to 80 minutes instead of 60.

marita

Pursuing multiple dreams also means making other sacrifices where possible. While I do still make it a point to keep up my friendships and my relationship, I do see everyone considerably less frequently at the moment. I still make it a goal to stay in contact with friends through phone calls and texting multiple times a week and to see them in person at least every other week, but this is something that at the moment I am okay with.

marita

I am at a point in my life where I have learned to really love my own company and love using my free time to dive head-first into all of my different creative endeavours.For the first time in my life I also have something that I can call a career. I feel like there is some sort of purpose to my life and a reason why I get up every day. Granted, it’s not as if my start up is working on finding a cure for a terminal illness or anything else so altruistic. Still, I feel excited to go to work each day and solve problems for a living, no matter how small.

marita

Still, it seems as though there are never enough damned hours in the day and my window of “free time” is really freaking thin. I barely find the time to keep my flat clean and somehow always feel pangs of guilt when I am just watching a movie or enjoying the afternoon on the weekends. It’s hard to relax when you think “Oh I could be keeping up with my social media, preparing a new blog post, or learning more about photography and product design right now.”

marita

Life is all about balance though, and I am still working towards finding that sweet spot between drive and ambition and acceptance and patience. Life is also always in flux though, and priorities shift themselves and rearrange. This particular chapter in my life though, has been about personal growth. It has been all about paving way towards the adult I want to be. Responsible, financially independent, a problem solver, a creator. As long as these new attributes are tempered with kindness, understanding, and a general thirst for knowledge and tolerance, I will never be ashamed of who I am or who I have yet to grow into.

Photography: Rae Tashman


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Rae Tilly

Rae the EIC of LFB and YEOJA Magazine. She is also a photographer and social media influencer.

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  • Your photos are gorgeous!! Hopefully you have more time to dedicate to your photography in the future!

    • rae

      Thanks so much carolyn. And I hope so too!

  • Your last paragraph is exactly where I am right now. I think I’ve finally worked out the path I want to take, I think I know where I want to be in a few years. I can’t put it better than you, so I won’t say anymore, but yes.

    • rae

      I am really glad to hear that you have reached some kind of clarity. :) I hope that you can also enjoy the journey and not just dream about the end result, because the actual journey makes up 99% of the path.

      • Oh yessss.
        The journey is always the best, because sometimes you discover things that lead you down completely different and amazing paths :)

  • Courtney

    That dress is the cutest and you are so stunning, love the pics!!

    XO Courtney
    http://www.ColorMeCourtney.com

    • rae

      hi Courtney, thanks, but the photos are of a friend of mine.

  • Awe these photos are so cute!
    xo
    http://www.laurajaneatelier.com

    • rae

      thanks laura, glad you liked them!

  • Kati

    Oh, she is so beautiful and cute!

    Have a fantastic day,
    -Kati
    http://almoststylish.blogspot.de

    • rae

      thanks Kati, and yes she is! Can you believe this was her first time modelling ever?

  • I absolutely love the depth of field and the crisp warmth of these photographs. I’m so glad that I found your blog because it is becoming one of my favourites and I only discovered it like 20 minutes ago! You’re so creative and gorgeous!!!

    Owl Girl | A London lifestyle blog

    • rae

      Hi Candy, thanks so much. It really means a lot to me that you are enjoying lovefromberlin so much :)

  • I love her beautiful and natural look. The colours of these photos are amazing too!

    • rae

      Thank Gail!

  • I love the lighting in these photos!
    Ah it sounds like you’ve been really busy lately. I guess like you say what you prioritise depends on your stage in life right now, like career.

    • rae

      thanks so much Jane, and yes I have been! But since I am still so new to this job, the novelty has not warn off yet and I am enjoying every minute of it. The great thing is that I have made some wonderful friends at work, so although I spend much of my time there, I still feel like work doubles as socializing time too.

  • You took really beautiful pictures of your friend =) You’re right about life is a balance. It’s not an easy thing at times. Sacrifices at times are hard to make but in order to have life balance, we got to know what to let go and what to pursue. Personal growth is always a great thing and you did manage it so well =)

    • rae

      Thanks so much. And you are right – the hardest thing about balance is actually giving up some things and accepting that they can remain as hobbies but they cannot take over your full attention. If you spread yourself thin you will never be good at anything actually and everything will remain at the “hobby level”.

  • Love your photography so much! And your writing is beautiful :) I totally know what you mean… I feel as we grow older, it gets so much more tough to consistently keep in touch with friends and family. And I also tend to use my free time to be creative as opposed to any other activity. Don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing, though. Self growth is always an investment, I think :) x

    • rae

      I am really glad that you enjoyed these photos. And I agree entirely – the important part is that you surround yourself with good friends and develop good communication (the ability to talk about things, not necessarily the frequency in which one talks) that can understand that we are all individuals trying to succeed at what we love and might not always have so much free time. And yes, self growth is definitely an investment. We have to spend our entire lives with ourselves and for that reason it should be our first goal to make ourselves into the best version we can be – and also to make sure that we are happy and do things that make us happy. This does not mean we should be completely selfish, but we are people just like everyone else. It is so easy to get carried away thinking we need to help everyone else, when we forget we are a person who needs help too. And also, when you are the best version of yourself you can then help others better than you could if you did not practice self growth and self care.

  • you’re such a beauty! x

    • You’re photography skills are just in a point. Marita is also so beautiful. x

  • Michèle
    • rae

      Isn’t she?